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If you smell what The Rock is cooking!
Gennifer Flowers: I'm here with the Intercontinental Champion-- The Rock: Whoa, actually, Genny, it's The People's Intercontinental Champion. GF: Excuse me... The People's Intercontinental Champion, The Rock. Now, Rock, the people want to know--if you were the leader of this country, how would you run things? TR: Well, actually, Genny, The Rock feels like this. First and foremost, the term 'leader' is really beneath The Rock. The Rock feels like a more appropriate term would... 'ruler.' GF: OK, if you were the ruler, how would you handle the homeless situation? TR: I'll tell you what, Genny, that's a touchy subject for The Rock, the homeless situation in America. The Rock feels like this: as long as The Rock still has his palatial palace down on South Beach in Miami, FL, he really couldn't give a damn whether they live in a Frigidaire box or a Kenmore box. As long as those homeless pieces of trash keep their cardboard boxess off The Rock's freshly mowed grass, everything will be copasetic. GF: Well, how about the judicial system? TR: Well, first and foremost, as long as The Rock's fans across the country realize that The Rock is the judge and the jury, everything should be fine. Actually, after The Rock has contemplated that for a second, if The Rock were the jury, nine times out of ten he'd be a hung jury... if ya smell what The Rock is cooking. GF: How would you run the White House? TR: Tough job, tough question. But The Rock of course is up to answering it. The Rock feels like this: As long as all the interns in the White House, beneath The Rock, knew their damn role, and they didn't get out of hand, step out of line, and they didn't do anything orally wrong--excuse me, Genny--morally wrong, then The Rock wouldn't have to do what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown in a major way. Thank you very much, Genny.
If you are The Game, then quite frankly, you need to go back to the drawing board because your game absolutely sucks!
Well since Rock's baby left him... He found a new place to dwell... It's down at the end of Jabroni Drive at... Smackdown Hotellalalalalaaaa!
Look at The Rock's competition! Look at him! It looks like a big monkey came down here, took a crap, and out came Mankind!
Hold the mic up, jabroni, before The Rock slaps the taste out of your mouth! You *referring to Stone Cold Steve Austin* come out here and you spit your little talk about how the Rock comes out and spits his little nursery rhymes. Well, I'll tell you what, the Great One has a little nursery rhyme for you, Stone Cold, and it goes like this: Mary had a little lamb... Well, I'll tell you what, piss on the lamb, piss on Mary, and piss on you! The Rock is gonna go out there tonight and do what do what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown on your roody-poo *crowd finishes it for him by saying 'candy ass'* - Uh uh! Hey! Don't do it! Don't do it, because the Rock guaran-damn-tees to prove to you *points to audience*, you *points to interviewer*, this goof holding the camera, this chick gawking at the Rock, he will prove to the millions *crowd finishes it for him* and millions of the Rock's fans exactly why the Rock is the Great One, exactly why the Rock is the chosen one, and exactly why the Rock is without a shadow of a doubt the best damn WWF champ there ever was, if you smelllllll *crowd says 'smell' along with him* - Hey! Uh uh Philly! This ain't sing-a-long with the champ! If ya smelllllalalalalow what the Rock... *The Rock pauses very theatrically, lifts a hand to his face, uses it to turn his head to the side, pushes his chin down, and cocks the People's Eyebrow* ...is cooking!
Stone Cold Steve Austin... The Rock knows how much you like to drink. So The Rock is offering you a couple of drinks tonight. The drinks are on The Great One. But here's a stipulation, Austin: The Rock says don't get drunk and pass out, or else you'll wake up with The Rock's fist in your mouth, and his foot up your ass!
'Undertaker, do you think you impress The Rock by coming out here with your little Undertaker symbol and claim to steal the souls of all those jabronis? Do you think you impress The Rock by taking your eyes and rolling them up into the back of your head? Well, The Rock says, if you really wanna impress The Rock, then you will come to King of the Ring and you will put the WWF Title on the line and go one on one with the Great One! And Undertaker, when the Great One's music hits: 'Do you smell what The Rock is cooking', and 20,000 asses are standing on their feet with goosebumps running through their body, all chanting The Rock's name, 'Rocky, Rocky'' *crowd starts chanting his name* 'then, Undertaker, you bring your monkey ass to the people's ring and you come and you try to sacrifice The People's Champ. But here's the twist: instead, Undertaker, of taking your eyes and rolling them up into the back of your head, The Rock says that take your entire thirty-three pound head, turn it backwards like The Exorcist, have it roll down your back, catch it with both your hands. And then, Undertaker, The Rock says, take your own head and proceed to shove it directly up your candy ass!'
Your house started to shake, the heavens opened up, and God Himself spoke to you and said this: 'Bob...' (little boy voice) 'But my name's Billy.' (back to Rock-voice) 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!'
Now, Bad Ass, you run your mouth about SummerSlam. Well, here's the situation. The Rock says this: if the Rock hits you, he'll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway, so the choice is yours, jabroni!
So whether it's you Chris Jericho, Chris Jericho's Daddy, Chris Jericho's MaMa, Uncle Joe Jericho with the glass eye or maybe it's Grandpa Jimmy Jack Jericho with the iron lung, or hell, it might be even Grandma Jessebelle Jericho with the XX30 panties!
Big Show, you think you impress the Rock? Let The Rock make something perfectly clear to you. You have never, and The Rock means never, impressed The Rock. From the time your crappy music hits... Well, it's the Big Slow! And every single Rock fan stops, pauses, and takes a look, and they all say this: 'I'm going to take a leak; this guy sucks!'
'And you walk down the Rock's ramp and you step over the top rope, like that's supposed to impress somebody! And then, Big Show, you do something that is, without the shadow of a doubt, the most impressive thing the Rock's seen, and that's this-- (lifts hand in the air, Big Show-style and moans) huuuaaaagh!'
Who is booking this crap? The Rock against Billy Gunn; The Rock against Gangrel. Next week, they'll be having The Rock laying the Smackdown on the Brooklyn Brawler, for Christ's sake.
Kane, you think you impress the Rock when your music hits? All the lights go out. You got fire coming out of the post, fire shooting out of your ass, you got fire coming out of everywhere and then all of a sudden you're doing jumping jacks, you're happy, because Kane can talk. The big red retard can finally speak! Well, Kane, the Rock says this, he's in a giving mood tonight. You come on out here, the Rock got a little gift for you. He'll give you this microphone right here so you can talk in front of the millions *crowd finishes it* and millions of the Rock's fans, take your little voice gimmic, stick it to your throat and say this, (Doing an Impression of Kane) 'My name is Kane... and I am a roody poo candy ass!' And the Rock says this Kane, that little voice box you used to use, you left the Rock with one choice on what to do with it. The Rock says he'll take your little voice box, take all the batteries out, lube it up turn that sum bitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass!
Look at you just looking at the Rock, gawking at the Rock; you ought to be ashamed of yourself, a woman your age looking at the Rock like this!'
*The Rock puts his t-shirt over Michael Cole's face* You keep your head right there, jabroni! Don't move The Rock's electrifying t-shirt. The Rock says this. *turns to Michael Cole* The Rock said don't move your head! Undertaker, you talk about The Rock! You run your mouth about The Rock and like you've just unturned a stone. You've turned over a stone that's never been turned over before, on how The Rock writes checks that his ass can't cash because The Rock talks trash! Like all of a sudden, nobody knows The Rock talks trash! The Rock lives, breathes, talks trash all day long! *removes sunglasses* As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock... As a matter of fact, Undertaker, The Rock talks trash in his sleep. Just like this... *closes eyes and says in sleepy voice* roody poo candy ah... layeth the smacketh down on your candy... know your role... *opens eyes and snaps out of sleepy mode* The fact of the matter is this, Undertaker... *puts sunglasses back on* ...Is that tonight, and you and Big Show, it doesn't matter who it is because whether it is here tonight, or whether it is at Unforgiven, every damn night of the week, if you shut your mouth, *points in another direction* you shut your mouth, this goof holding the camera shut his mouth, *points in another direction* this chick gawking at The Rock shut her mouth... *points at Mankind* You be quiet, *points at Michael Cole* you too! Shh, shh, shh! If you listen, all The Rock's fans are chanting his name. *Fan's chant 'Rocky! Rocky!'* *Mankind starts chanting 'Rocky!' with the crowd, and The Rock points at him to stop him* Eh-eh! *points at Michael Cole* Keep your head still, jabroni! The Rock says this, is that tonight, he's gonna do one thing and that is lay the smackdown on your ROO-DY POO *crowd finishes it by chanting 'CANDY ASS'* if you smell what The Rock is cookin'!
They all want the Rock to raise the People's Eyebrow, they all want the Rock to drop the People's Elbow, layeth the smacketh down with the Rock Bottom, and they want to hear without a shadow of a doubt the most electrifying line in sports entertainment, period. And here it is... 'To BE the man, WHOOO, you've got to beat the man...' No, that's not it. That's not it, jabroni. This is it: 'OOOOhhhhh YEEEAAAahh DIG...' Ah, Dammit, that's not it either. This is it... 'Whatcha gonna do, when the TWENTY-FOUR INCH...' That's not it either. Here we go 'I am the best there is, the best there was....' No, no that's not it. That's damn sure as hell not it.(pause) This is it, The Most Electrifying line in Sports Entertainment, if ya SMELLLLLLLLALALALALALAOW what The Rock is cooking...
'As athletes, we understand the importance of being a positive role model.'
'Do you remember how, all year long, the only thing Rock wanted to do in your class was make pancakes?' 'You still like to cook? Still like to bake bread? And you know your rolls, right?' 'The Rock says this. You should know your role, and shut your mouth; take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-having ass directly into the Smackdown Hotel!'
If you wouldn't mind, Coach, The Rock would like to do something special with that whistle. The Rock would like to take that whistle you got, that very whistle you just put to your lips, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!'
'We used to kiss a little bit...lotta tongue; you used to love the Rock's tongue, didn't you? Remember how you used to nibble on The Rock's ear, on The Rock's neck, and whisper to The Rock, 'Hey Rock, go for it! Go for second base!' And as The Rock put his hand ever so gently on your knee, slid his hand up inch-by-inch, what did you do? You CUT THE ROCK OFF ON SECOND BASE!' 'The Rock has just one thing to say to you... poontang your ass on out of here!'
THE ROCK: 'Before you come in here and start putting little stickers on the Rock's shirt and putting little streamers all over the Rock, the Rock just wants to know-- what is your name?' CLOWN: 'I'm--' ROCK: 'It doesn't MATTER what your name is!' MANKIND: 'Hey, hold it right there! It certainly does matter what her name is, and I'll tell you why! I tried real hard and I went to a lot of expense and time and effort to make this night real special for you! And one by one, you're going to insult my guests and make this night a bad night for me? Sometimes I think you're a very ungrateful little man, Rock!'
'Naturally, The Rock is appreciative to all of his fans, but to you...The Rock's birthday's May second, you stupid son of a bitch!'
It sounds to 'The Great One' that 15,000 of The Rock's fans are callin' you a slut!
The Rock has but one thing to say (turns his head). Somebody got a haircut. That's right Big Show, you are no longer a long-haired 7ft 500lb piece of monkeycrap, you are now a short-haired 7ft 500lb piece of stinky Grade-A monkeycrap.
Go back to Supercuts and get your $5 back, jabroni.
The thought of another DX night makes The Rock want to stick his finger down his throat and spew the people's vomit.
We do slapstick... steel chairs, garbage cans... and our guys live to fight another day.
He is an extremist who represents a very radical group, and if they don't like The Rock of the WWF... that is why they make channel changers.
Let The Rock get this straight. You invited The Rock to speak at the Republican National Convention? Well, The Rock says this: What is the matter with you people?
Finally, The Rock has come back to New Jersey! Just as sure as The Rock for the very first time stood in this arena and called Kevin Kelly an ugly hermaphrodite is just as sure as this Sunday the Rock will be at Hell in a Cell. Now make no mistake this will be the most brutal match The Rock has ever been in. The most dangerous match The Rock has ever been in. The Hell in a Cell. And it doesn't matter, Kevin Kelly, what you call it. Whether it's called a Hell in a Cell, Rage in a Cage, painus in you anus, the only the thing that matters, is that The Rock is going in this Sunday night, to do exactly what he does best - layeth the smacketh down and get back The Rock's WWF title. And the fact of the matter is this, is that The Rock knows this Sunday night, he has his work cut out for him. The Rock knows, he's got five other guys he's got to compete with. And even if The Rock has got to beat Kurt Angle, which means, 'I'm gonna drink a big glass of milk, eat some chocolate chip cookies and maybe I'll take three viagra'. Or maybe The Rock has got to face Rikishi, beat Rikishi. 'I did it for The Rock. I did it for the people. I did it for... oh, shut your mouth, you thong wearin' fatty. Or maybe The Rock has got to beat The Undertaker, the American Badass, beat him so bad, that one more he'll raise up... 'Rest in peace!' Or maybe The Rock has got to beat Triple H himself, which means-uh, he's got to beat The Game-uh, in the middle of the ring-uh. And he has a two dollar slut for a wife-uh! Or maybe The Rock, has gotta beat...(puts on Stone Cold baseball cap) Stone Cold Steve Austin. Which means I gotta get my pick-up truck, drink some Steve-wisers, listen to some Backstreet Boys. And that's the bottom line, 'cause the Great One said so! One more thing, this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock is gonna do all he can to win the WWF title. If ya smell...what The Rock is cooking!!
The Rock has dream, has a dream that he's winning the Royal Rumble, going on to Wrestlemania and from coast to coast, Wisconsin to China, and back to Wisconsin! Sea to shining sea, The Rock one more time on top of the mountaintop, WWF Champion! And you see just like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr had a dream, well we all have dreams, but there has been one dream that has become a reality to The Rock, one dream thats becoming true to The Rock. Day after day, night after night, 24 hours a day,.... 7 days a week, 365 days a year, and that one dream is The Rock forever whipping ass, whipping ass....Thank God Almighty, The Rock is whipping ass! If ya smell....what The Rock is cooking!
Just so The Rock understands this, you're the WCW Champion Sucker?
With Booker T being the World Champion Sucker and Shane McMahon wanting a piece of The Rock's ass, The Rock's beginning to wonder just WHAT kind of alliance you're running there!
The Rock could just imagine what you were like in High School! The oldest 27 year old senior the world has ever seen! Standing outside your house with your momma, and that short little yellow bus pulling up in front - beep beep, beep beep, beep beep! You just walk in on the bus, go into class, get inside the classroom, teacher up on the blackboard 'Ok class, what is 2 + 2? Do you know Booker?' 'Oh yeah I know the answer to that, 2 + 2? Thomas Jefferson, sucka!'
The Rock supposedly doesn't care about the history of the WCW? The Rock doesn't care about the WCW Title? Well The Rock knows damn well the history of the WCW Title. The Rock knows that the title traces back to Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz, Ricky Steamboat, and woooooooooo Ric Flair! The Rock also knows damn well, what in recent years the WCW Title has come to... Diamond Dallas Page? Booker T? The guy from Scream 2, the dog from Married with Children, the maid from the Jeffersons! Shane McMahon, this WCW title is just like your sister, everybody gets a turn!
Lillian: Rock, we heard the news earlier today. You're gonna be defending at Unforgiven, your WCW title against Shane McMahon and Booker T. How do you feel about that? The Rock: Who are you just Barbara Walters all of a sudden, Lillian? Since when did you become all business, Lillian? How about a simple 'Hey Rock'. 'How you doin Rock?'. 'Did you enjoy lunch today Rock?'. 'Did you like your pancakes Rock?'. How about something like that. Lillian: But Rock, like I said, at Unforgiven. You're gonna... The Rock: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Lillian. Lillian. You need to let your feelings go. The Rock knows you have feelings for him. The Rock knows that you think about The Rock. The Rock knows that you get that funny feeling in the bottom of your stomach, Lillian. The Rock knows that each and every single time you go right out there in the middle of The People's ring and you ring announce, you think about The Rock looking at you. Admit it Lillian, that you go to bed every single night dreaming about marrying The Rock. Dreaming of one day to become Mrs. Lillian 'Rockcia'. Admit it Lillian, you get wet... with perspiration standing this close to The Rock... Now, Llilian, The Rock knows how you feel about pie. But how do you feel about strudel? Lillian, would you like to try some of The Rock's strudel? Lillian: More than anything in the world, Rock. The Rock: What in the blue hell is wrong with you? The Rock was just informed that he had a match at Unforgiven. A handicap match between The Rock, Booker T and Shane McMahon and the only thing you can think about and talk about is dessert? A little professionalism, Lilian Garcia, please! (Lillian begins to speak) Shh. Shh. Shhhhhh. (Camera focuses on The Rock, while he turns to the camera) Shane McMahon, you wanna book the match between the Rock and Booker T? Well, The Rock says 'why don't we just cut right to the chase?' Shane McMahon, The Rock sees how you look at Booker T. Booker T, The Rock sees how you look at Shane McMahon. So why not get it over with and have a damn baby? The Rock can see it now. Little Booker Mac. First words out of his mouth: (high-pitched voice) 'Can you dig it, sucka?' (performs the Shane 'O Mac Shuffle) You see, Shane McMahon. At Unforgiven... At Unforgiven, 19 days, 19 nights from this night forward, at Unforgiven, it's gonna be you two who'll have to forgive The Rock for taking his right boot and his left boot, turn 'em sideways and sticking them straight up both your candy asses! (Camera zooms out to include Lillian holding the WCW Championship) Now, Lillian Garcia. Back to your question. How does The Rock feel about Unforgiven? Well, The Rock feels about Unforgiven, just as he feels about tonight's eight man Tag Match, right here in T.O. The Rock feels about 'em just as he feels about everything else and that is simply electrifying. If you smell what The Rock... Lillian, stop thinking about The People's Strudel... is cooking! - September 4, 2001 episode of SmackDown!, Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Canada
On this night 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself came something so horrifying it sends chills up and down the bodies of men all over the world: tonight marks the birth of Stephanie McMahon.
Happy Birthday to Steph. You're a ho with big breasts. So take the night off from hooking, if you smell what The Rock is cooking!
On the night Test faced the Great One, this is what he'll see... twelve sharpshooters stinging, eleven eyebrows raising, ten spines a'bustin, nine noggins knocking, eight kicks a'kicking, seven punches punching, six suplexes smashing, five seconds of the people chanting The Rock's name ... four Rock Bottoms, three People's Elbows, on your two buck teeth, and an ass-kicking all over New Orleans!
The Rock: What in the blue hell are you doing?
What in the blue hell is wrong with you?! 'Wat up, G!' That's how you say your prayers? You get out of here you sick... freak! You don't say your prayers like that. Get his candy ass out of here.
Hulk Hogan, what'cha gonna do when The Rock runs wild on you? But you see Hogan, The Rock's gonna tell what's gonna happen. He's gonna tell you exactly what you're gonna do. You're gonna feel electricity like you've never felt before, electricity that's happened like never before. You will hear 70,000 strong chanting your name, chanting The Rock's name. Hulk Hogan, you will see the People's Elbow come crashing down on your chest. And Hogan, above all else, above all else, you will, you will, you will, you will, you will, good god almighty you will smell what The Rock is cooking!
What's happening with Chris Jericho and The RocK? (During his fued with Chris Jericho)
Eddie Guerrero, you want a shot at the Great One but there's only one problem. It's you never told him whether you you were Cheech or were you Chong! Y arriba y arriba ! Oh yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, The Rock ain't done! The Rock's got some more and it goes like this. Guerrero and The Rock in this ring will meet and when it's all over The Rock whooping ass on Latino Heat! Y arriba y arriba !
(when Eddie tries to interupt Rock after La Bamba) Y arriba y arriba!
(third time Eddie tries) Eddie Guerrero! (in La Bamba song)
You know, Brock Lesnar, you wanna play games with The Rock? Ya think you wanna play mind games, is that what you wanna do? You think you're real smart, Brock Lesnar, why, because you came down here and you brought yourself a front row ticket? You and that big fat walrus so he could cheer you on? But you see, you're real smart, Brock, 'cause you do have a front row ticket, but you've also got another ticket, and that's to a big brahma bull ass whoopin', not yesterday, no no no no no, no no, no no no no no no, no, the ass whoopin' is not yesterday, it's not tomorrow, the brahma bull ass whoopin' is toinght! - promo on Brock Lesnar on the August 12, edition of Raw in Seattle
Who is The Rock? Who is The Rock? Oh, you should know who The Rock is, you interrupt The Rock, The Rock'll be the guy to get in that ring, tighten his shoes and whoop your ass! Or maybe you don't remember, you and The Rock, Triple H and The Rock, well The Rock, let The Rock break it down for you: The Rock, the most electrifying man in sports and entertainment; The Rock...The Rock, brahma bull, great one, People's Champ, and oh - to say the least, The Rock is something you're not, Undisputed Champion, so shut up, bitch
Okay okay okay! But let The Rock understand this big shot. You wanna go? Is that what you wanna do, Triple H? You and the The Rock, Triple H, one more time, do you wanna...go?' 'I would LOVE to go.'(Triple H) 'Well then go get The Rock a baloney sandwich 'cause this doesn't concern you. -both directed towards Triple H, during the same promo.
It was here in Toronto that it all started. The biggest travesty in the industry went down right here, when the People turned on the People's Champion. Last year at WrestleMania, 68,000 of you mothercanuckers booing the rock out of the bulding!
There is only one true Superstar of the Decade, true Superstar of the Millenium! You know who that is? The Rock'll tell you who that is! Toronto, that is - the jabroni-beating, pie-eating, trail-blazing, eyebrow-raising, stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, the biggest thing to hit Canada because the Maple Leaf sucks!
The Rock knows exactly who you are! There's a green shirt, H on your chest, green mask ... oh you're the Hamburglar!
Arrest his green ass. Get him out of here. Get his green monkey ass out of here. Hey, arrest him, he's guilty of shoving Chicken McNuggets straight up his ass, arrest him.
Leavin' Sacramento, Sacramento there I go Leavin' Sacramento Sacramento there I go They got some fat-assed women there and Rock is gonna just say no Well I might take a plane, I might take a train, How do you people live here? You must be insane I'm leavin' Sacramento, Sacramento I won't stay, But I'll be sure to come back when the Lakers beat the Kings in May! I'll be sure to comeback when the Lakers beat the Kings in May
Ever since The Rock came in town Everybody's tried to bring him down Canadians have no class That's why they can kiss the People's ass!
You take it easy, Bill Goldberg. You take it easy, I tell you what... The Rock knows that you're nervous about this Sunday at Backlash, okay The Rock don't blame you! Cause you know The Rock is just gonna slap the taste outta your mouth this Sunday at Backlash, Bill Goldberg, you know that right? You know that, ol' gigglepanties, don't look at The Rock like that!
The Rock went down to Georgia Gettin' all these rants and raves Cause the people knew that if it was true Goldberg would choke just like the Braves! Now hold on, don't boo, you appreciate that one, you know you appreciate that one! Here we go, it goes like this, second verse! So when The Rock finally found Goldberg Breathing hard and full of gas Goldberg said 'You're next!', The Rock said 'Oh yeah, Shove it right up your candy ass!' Hey hey Bill Goldberg, don't get mad, don't get mad! Cause this is the chorus, here it goes... The Rock is the great one, run Goldberg run The Rock's got it all and you've got none Chickens in the breadpan, picking out dough Your town's a joke and your momma's a ho! Hey, don't you get mad, Bill Goldberg, don't get mad. Stomp your feet, clap your hands, cause your momma's a big fat ho dammit!
The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eye brow raising, the best in the present, future and past, and if ya'll don't like me you can kiss the people's ass!
Rock: 'I tell you what - who's your boy standing in the middle of the ring?'
Yo, listen! The Rock knows who you are! He knows who you are! 3rd generation wrestler! Yeah yeah! As a matter of fact, The Rock remembers very distinctly: Long time ago, remember meeting your daddy - 'Cowboy' Bob Orton, yeah, with the cast on his hand, I remember that! And I also remember some cat named 'Soulman' Rocky Johnson whuppin' your daddy's ass!! No, wait a minute, no, it keeps goin' back! Your granddaddy, Bob Orton, Senior! The Rock's granddaddy, 'High Chief' Peter Maivia layin' Samoan Smackdown on his monkey (says next word off-mic) ass! Oh even back, way back more than that! Your big fat ass grandmammy, your mammy, they all complained! Hell, The Rock's grandmama, his mama right there slapped the lips of all two them bitches! (Orton comments on how all the hometown fans can chant The Rock's name, but they know who 'The Man' is, referring to himself) I tell you what, the Rock even remembers you! I remember you! I remember you, how 'bout the gerbil? Do you remember the gerbil? Don't forget - (Orton comments on how they never knew each other as kids and doesn't remember the gerbil) Wait, wait, that's funny. We never knew each other as a kid? Well, let the Rock remind you. The Rock remembers in the locker room, your old man, sittin' there, callin' The Rock over: (changes to a pseudo-Bob Orton voice) 'Hey Dwayne! I want you to meet my son. There's Randy Orton!' (changes his voice back to normal) I remember that! I remember looking at you sittin' there picking your nose, wipin' it on your shirt. And of all things, of all things, you were sittin' in the locker room, sittin' in the locker room playin' with a My Lil' (trails off because he didn't want to say 'little') Pretty Pony! (Orton comments on how he never had with a Pretty Pony) You never had a Pretty Pony, you never had a Pretty Pony? (An exasperated Orton says it was his sister's, now is embarrassed in front of the Rock and the Miami crowd) Oh the Rock remembers! Oh yeah yeah, and then your dad calls me over, says, 'Here, this is my son!' I went to shake your hand, 'Hey man, how ya doin'?' (voiced as a child Randy) 'You don't! Don't! This is MY Pretty Pony! Don't touch my Pretty Pony!' You remember that? (Randy tries to say no) And then, and then- Shut your mouth! And then you just ran! You ran! You ran right by Andre the Giant, right by Junkyard Dog, smack dab, right in the middle of King Kong Bundy's ball sac! And I was laughin'! I was laughin'- (addresses an audience member) Hold on! We're not done! (To Orton) I was laughin' my ass off! And you were sittin' there and your dad was like, (Bob Orton Voice) 'Hey Dwayne, don't laugh! One day my son's going to be great.' (To Orton) I looked up at your dad and I said, 'Oh, no, Mr. Orton-' I called him 'Mr. Orton' 'cause I respect him, 'Mr. Orton, actually, one day, I'm gonna whup your son's candy ass!' - The Rock to Randy Orton in response to Orton interrupting The Rock's interaction with the Miami crowd.
Where's Snow White and the rest of the Seven Dwarves? Sumbitches... Is this the best you got, Eric Bischoff? Sending The Rock out with a bunch of Oompa Loompas? (referring to CSC Event Staff escorting The Rock from the building. They are all smaller than him and with beer bellies.)
The Rock'll tell you what. Of all people you throw out of the building, of all people, live TV, you throw out the Rock? No wonder WCW went out of business! (To Eric Bischoff, calling out Bischoff's judgment call of throwing the Rock out of the arena in Rock's hometown, Miami, and parallels it to Bischoff's judgment calls resulting in the downfall of WCW)
(To Trish Stratus) Hey Mama! How you doin'? How you- no no no no no! The Rock's gotta go. Don't look at the People's Package. (To Tyson Tomko) Hell, you too, don't look! But it's cool, man! It's all good, I like your show, 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'. It's all good!
(To Hurricane and Rosey, the Super-Hero In Training) Aww, here are my boys, yeah! Hamburglar! Grimace! Naw, I'm only playin'. (to Hurricane) What it is, you, man! (to Rosey) Damn you don't talk every time the Rock gets around, you talk, man? Don't get like that! I bet you know how to say 'Super-size me' though, don't ya?
The Rock: '(to the Dudleyz) Who are you two roody poos?'
Buh-Buh Ray Dudley: 'You should know by now, that we are...the D-D-D-D--
The Rock: IT-IT-IT-IT-IT DOESN'T MATTER!
The Rock: 'Now, back to you. Shawn Michaels. Are you and the Chippendale parade going to turn your tushsh around and make your way to the back of the queue? Or will The Rock have to take his size thirteen boot, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your ass!'
MANKIND: 'Rock, what I'm about to do is show the millions--' THE ROCK: (Rock holds out his hand to stop Mankind) 'Don't you EVER do that again.' LAWLER: 'Gimmick infringement!'
The Undertaker cuts a promo to The Rock. Here is the opening line of The Undertaker's promo: 'Listen young man, and I do mean young.' Here is the ending line of The Undertaker's promo: 'I am going to take you to the learning tree!' A couple nights later on RAW, The Rock responds to Undertaker's promo: 'Undertaker, you run your mouth about how you're going to take The Rock to the learning tree. Well, you're not going to have to drag The Rock to the learning tree. The Rock will gladly go to the learning tree with you. And then he'll pause once we get there. He'll reach up and break off a branch, And he'll pick each and every leaf off of that branch. Then he'll turn it sideways and stick it straight up your candyass!'
'Tonight The Rock is going to play movie director, and let you see firsthand the unedited, uncut version of The Rock's major motion picture, entitled 'Laying The Smackdown on Your Roody-Poo Candy Ass!' And when it's all said and done, and all the smoke has cleared, and the millions and the millions of The Rock's fans have finished chanting his name, the Titanic will still be sunk, Monica Lewinsky will still love her cigars, and The Rock will have kicked the living piss out of Mankind!'
'I don't believe this; this is a bunch of monkey crap; they BROKE the Rock's ROLEX!'
THE ROCK: All the Rock's fans are chanting his name... CROWD: 'Rock-y! Rock-y! Rock-y!... MANKIND (slightly out of sync with the crowd): 'Rock-y! Rock-y!...'
You keep your head right there, jabroni; don't move The Rock's electrifying T-shirt! Now the Rock says this--The Rock said, don't move your head!'
THE ROCK:'The Rock's not even listening to you! The Rock can't even hear himself talk, for Christ's sake...' MANKIND: 'Umm...roody poo!'
You stand now, before The Rock, looking at The Rock, gawking at The Rock, wanting to go one-on-one with 'The Great One?' And now, in front of all The Rock's fans, you want to serve The Rock a great, big piece of that poontang pie?
Wrestlemania XV, the Brahma Bull against the Rattlesnake. It does not get any better than that. Stone Cold Steve Austin, as far as the The Rock is concerned, the greatest book ever written is entitled 'The Brahma Bull vs. The Rattlesnake.' And the beauty of this novel is that it has infinite chapters. Which means it never ends. It also means, for the rest of your natural life, The Rock will be kicking your monkey crap ass all over God's Green Earth... And when it's all said and done, all the smoke has cleared, and the millions and the millions of The Rock's fans have finished chanting his name... and you and The Rock float up to that big World Wrestling Federation ring in the sky, and you extend your hand and say, 'Hey Rock, thanks for the memories...' don't be surprised if The Rock looks at you, raises The People's Eyebrow, shakes your hand right back and says, 'No, Stone Cold... thank you for the memories.' And then, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock will take his other hand and slap the tase right out of your mouth for being the biggest piece of Trailer Park Trash walking God's Blue Heaven!
Rock: Finally, The Rock has come back to New Jersey! Just as sure as for the very 1st time, Kevin Kelly, the rock stepped right is this Arena and called you an ugly hermaphrodite, is as sure as this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock will be in hell, in a cell. This is gonna be the most brutal match The Rock has ever been in. The dangerous-est match The Rock has ever been in. The Hell-in-a-cell. And it doesn't matter Kevin Kelly what you call it. Whether it's called a Hell-in-a-cell, or rage-in-the-cage, painus-in-your-anus, the only thing that matters is that The Rock is going in this sunday night to do exactly what he does best. And thats layeth the smackdown and get back The Rocks WWF Title. And the fact of the matter is this, is that The Rock knows, this Sunday night he's got his work cut out for him. The Rock knows he's got 5 other guys he's gotta compete with, and even it The Rock's gotta beat Kurt Angle, which means - - (Mocking Kurt Angle) I'mm gonna drink a big glass of milk! Have some chocolate cookies, and maybe have 3 viagra! (Normal Voice) Or maybe The Rock's gotta face Rikishi, beat Rikishi! (Imitating Rikishi) I did it for the rock. I did it for the people. I did it for - - (Normal Voice) Oh, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU THONG-WEARIN' FATTY! Or maybe, The Rock's gotta beat the Undertaker, the American Bad-Ass. Beat him so bad that one more time he'll rise up - - (imitating undertaker) Rest... In... Peace......... ('Fainting' but rising, and speaking in his normal voice) or maybe The Rock's gotta beat Triple-H himself - - (Imitating HHH) Which means-ah... He's gotta beat The Game-ah... In the middle of the Ring-ah... And he has a 2-dollar s*** for a wife-ah...... (Normal Voice) Or maybe The Rock, has gotta to beat - - (Wearing Stone-Cold Steve Austin's hat, and speaking with his southern accent) Stone Cold Steve Austin, which means, I gotta get in, I gotta get in my Pick-up truck, drink some Steve-Weiser, listen to some Backstreet Boys... (silence) ... and That's the bottom Line, 'cuz the Great One said so! (Normal Voice) And one more thing, this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock's gotta do all he can to win the WWF Title, IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEELL......... WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!
The Rock says...
Because the Rock has spoken.
Know your role and shut your mouth!
Finally, The Rock has come back to (name of town)!
Layeth the smacketh down.
It doesn't matter what you think/who you are/what your name is!
This ain't 'Sing Along With The Rock'!
You think you impress the Rock?
Who is this roody-poo?
Who in the blue hell are you?
The Rock is the most electrifying man in Sports Entertainment!
For the millions... and millions of The Rock's fans...
Just bring it!
I'm gonna take this (object), shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!
Do you like pie?
The Rock's gonna take your monkey ass down to the corner of Know Your Role Boulevard, turn right on Jabroni Drive...AND CHECK YOUR CANDY-ASS INTO THE SMACKDOWN HOTEL!
The Rock is going to lay the smack down all over your candy ass!
This is The Rock's show! This is SmackDown!
Roody-poo candy ass
You wanna go one on one with the Great One?
How's your lips... 'cause they're gonna get slapped off your face!
Shut your damn mouth.
Know your role, Jabroni. Know your role.
Do you smell it, Jabroni?
The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eye brow raising, I got a gift for you from Santa, an ass-whooping at WrestleMania like here in Atlanta!
You are three seconds away, and The Rock means the seconds away, from The Rock to lay the smack down on your candy ass!
You Sick Freak!
I'm gonna stick your head so far up your ass your gonna have to cut holes in your nipples to see!
The Rock says, they didn't keep you at the bottom of the barrel just because you wanted to say goodbye to your roody poo friends in Madison Square Garden, no. The Rock says, they kept you at the bottom of the barrel because you absolutely suck.
(Addressing Billy Gunn) The night you won King of the Ring, you got down on your kness, and you said a prayer and it sounded like this: (whiny voice as Billy Gunn) 'Oh dear God, you see, my name's Billy, and I just won King of the Ring. But there's one problem. Everybody still thinks (in more strident tones)THAT I ABSOLUTELY SUCK!' And then Billy, the clouds parted, the Heavens opened, and God Himself spoke to you and said this: 'BOB,' 'But my name's Billy.' 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! BOB, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT; YOU DO SUCK!'
Take a little walk down Know You Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and then proceed to check your Aunt Jemima no-pancake-havin' ass di-rectly into the Smackdown Hotel!
Kurt Angle, you think you're really special because you've cashed in on the services of one Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, a two dollar no, a fifty cent no, buy two get one free does any one have change for a nickel skank ass slut?
Undertaker, you think your Mickey Mouse tattoos impress the Rock?
Lillian Garcia, are you getting wet...(crowd howls) with perspiration at standing this close to The Rock?
Try the chicken nuggets, you fat sumbitch! (to Rosey)