stone cold steve austin Quotes

Stone Cold Steve Austin Quotes

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Quotes

    • 'The first thing I want be done is to get that piece of crap out of my ring! Don't just get him out of the ring, get him out of the WWF, because I've proven son, without a shadow of a doubt - you ain't got what it takes anymore. You sit there and you thump your bible and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere. Talk about you Psalms, talk about John 3:16... Austin 3:16 says: 'I've just whipped your ass'!! All he's gotta do is buy himself a cheap bottle of Thunderbird, and try to dig back some of that courage, he had in his prime. As the King of the Ring, I'm serving notice to every one of the WWF superstars. I don't give a damn what they are, they are all on the list, and that is Stone Cold's list, and I'm fixing to start running through all of them. As far as this championships match is considered, son, I don't give a damn, if it's Davey Boy Smith or Shawn Michaels. Steve Austin's time has come, and when I get the shot, you are looking at the next WWF champion, and that's the bottomline - cause Stone Cold said so!' (after defeating the Bible-quoting Jake Roberts in the 1996 King Of The Ring final)
    • Stone Cold: 'The whole world knew that Bret Hart wasn't going to even show up. Stone Cold sure as hell knew that. The bottom line is when Stone Cold is in the house, Bret Hart is at his house because he's scared of Stone Cold and that's the bottom line. As soon as I rolled into the WWF, Bret Hart you packed your bags and took your carcass to Canada.'
    • Brian Pillman and Owen Hart start laughing*
    • 'I got something I wanna make clear right now. Because of the censors, I can't use the word I'd like to use, so I'll use a word that rhymes with it-I spit on the life, the career, and the family of Bret 'The Hitman' Hart; and if his parents had been smart enough to practice safe sex some thirty years ago, I wouldn't be dealing with him right now.
    • ' ...Pink tights. What the hell is THAT all about, Bret? This ain't no ballet class! Sunglasses and sparklers? What a load of CRAP. So, Bret- you're coming back...to continue a LEGACY? UH-UNH! Stone Cold's gonna make your comeback a living HELL! So you can start begging for some mercy right now...You will beg for mercy- YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND IT. I think you're completely pathetic! You're the 'Best there Is, Was and Ever Will Be'? Whatever! Son, you're looking at the best there is- Austin 3:16 Rules! I will kick your pink-and-black ass all OVER the Garden! I'm gonna END your legacy... You WILL beg for mercy...At Madison. Square. Garden.' (Prior to his first match vs. Bret 'The Hitman' Hart)
    • 'You know how you once had that thing where the wrestler rode a little bus all over the country, shakin' hands, and kissing babies? You should have a Stone Cold Express, where I get out in every town and kick everyone's ass. At least that wouldn't suck.' (to Vince McMahon, referring to Lex Luger's 'Lex Express')
    • 'You want mercy? Take your ass to church!'
    • 'You come out here and say this is an order and that's an order! Hell, I can look at you son and the only thing you've been ordering is a whole bunch of damn cheeseburgers!' (to Sgt. Slaughter)
    • Austin: 'IF YOU'RE READY FOR WRESTLEMANIA, GIMME A HELL YEAH!!!! (HELL YEAH!) You damn right, because Stone Cold Steve Austin has been jerked around long enough! And I will say this, with Paul Wight as the special referee, or without him, it really don't make a damn, because that belt is coming with me and that's all I got to say about that. For the last few weeks-- shut your little lips or I'll go down and punch your glass off right now. For the last few weeks, I come out here and I sit and listen to you spit you're little nursery rhymes about 'Jabroni Avenue' or 'Know Your Role Boulevard'. Jesus Christ son, you better get your ass serious because Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna take his ass to Philadelphia, check right in to the Smack Down Hotel, roll right in to room 3:16, and burn that son of a bitch to the ground! You look at me. Take your little glasses off so I can see your eyeballs, son. Pull 'em off, because I want you to look right here. When that bell rings, and the match is over, you are looking at the next WWF Champion, AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE 'CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO! As far as right now goes, the big celebration after where Stone Cold is gonna drink a hell of a lotta beer, but I think we oughta share a little pre-match beer RIGHT NOW.'
    • During the Famous 'Beer Truck' Episode of Raw before w:Wrestlemania XV, March 1999
    • 'I got nothing to say to you. Just park my damn truck, and if you scratch it, you're gonna get your ass whipped.' (Austin to Michael Cole, when he arrived at the Royal Rumble 1998.)
    • 'Jackass!'
    • 'I'll toss you out on your ass, you sorry piece of trash!'
    • 'Don't take this ass-whippin' personally, son!'
    • 'Somebody's gonna get their ass whipped!'
    • 'I'm gonna kick your ass up and down every inch of that damn ring!'
    • 'I'll put my roody-poo foot up his roody-poo ass!' (about The Rock)
    • 'DTA (Don't trust Austin)'
    • 'DTA (Don't trust anybody)'
    • 'McMahon 3:16 says I just pissed my pants!' (After holding a gag gun to Vince McMahon's head, causing him to urinate in his trousers)
    • 'Hey Booker, Got Milk?' (During a fight with Booker T in a grocery store)
    • 'Pricecheck on jackass!!' (To Booker T after beating him up in a grocery store.)
    • 'I'm calling you a creepy little bastard because you creep me out!' (To Christian)
    • 'I'm here to drink beer and raise hell!'
    • 'I am the master of the middle finger!' (WM 21 Gladiator Commercial)
    • 'Tune in next week, Same Stone Cold Time, Same Stone Cold Channel!' (parody of the most famous Batman ending narration: Tune in next week, Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel!)
    • 'I don't know about 'Humanitarian of the Year,' Vince, but if you think it should be 'Jackass of the Year,' gimme a hell yeah!'
    • 'You little mealy mouthed bastard.'
    • 'Since you're a piece of crap, I challenge you to flush yourself down the commode.'
    • 'You got your goofy little haircut' ('What?') 'Your stupid boots' ('What?') 'Your little dress' ('What?') (To Rowdy Roddy Piper at WM 21 with fans.)
    • 'Got a problem with that?'
    • 'My Name is Stone Cold Steve Austin, I am the World Wrestling Federation champion and I can not be stopped' (repeated mutiple times)
    • 'Oh, this will be an ass-whippin' you'll never forget.'
    • 'It's funny your Dad always talks about having balls the size of grapefruits, but I think you might be the balls of the family.' (to Stephanie McMahon)
    • 'So Austin's gonna put you over his knee. Lift up your little skirt. I gotta be careful, I don't want your balls to fall out!' (To Stephanie)
    • 'Put an 'S' before Hitman and thats what I think about Bret Hart'
    • 'I don't care who you are; if you step in the ring with Stone Cold Steve Austin, you're gonna get your ass whipped!'
    • 'I am Stone Cold Steve Austin, I am the World Wrestling Federation Champion, and I do not deserve to be treated like this!'
    • STEVE AUSTIN:'What The Name Of This Pay Per View Coming Up? MICK FOLEY:'No Mercy.' STEVE AUSTIN:'Damn right.' (before No Mercy 2000)
    • 'I don't care if you're worth one billion dollars (WHAT!?), two billion dollars (WHAT!?), three billion dollars (WHAT!?), four billion dollars (WHAT!?), five billion dollars (WHAT!?), six billion dollars (WHAT!?), seven billion dollars (WHAT!?), eight billion dollars (WHAT!?); if you piss me off, I will proceed to open up an eight-billion-dollar can of whoop ass on ya, and that's all I got to say about that!' (To Donald Trump)
    • 'Most people made the wrong impression about the World Wrestling Federation. We're a non-violent form of entertainment.' (Before he hits someone with a chair) (During the WWF 1999 commercial)
    • 'Dont worry about putting on your little black and pink tights because they look like crap anyway.'(Auston calling Brett Hart out)
    • 'What I wanna do is, take a couple of those zeroes and put 'em behind Mick Foley's salary, because the sumb*tch needs some help with his medical bills.' (regarding Vince McMahon's salary)
    • 'Badges? You got us badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!' (To Kurt Angle)
    • 'Give me a Hell Yeah!'
    • '...And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so!'
    • 'Ah ah!'
    • 'I'm trying very hard to maintain my composure.'
    • 'If you don't understand what I mean, I always got a little bit of sign language, so here's to ya!' (Sticks two middle fingers up at the person he's talking to.)
    • 'And that's all I got to say about that!'
    • 'Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass!'
    • 'What?'
    • 'Oh Hell Yeah!'
    • 'I will stomp a mudhole in your ass and walk it dry!'
    • 'I'll open up a can of whoop ass on you!'
    • 'Your brush with greatness is over!'
    • 'It's a great day to be a blonde.'
    • 'A couple of weeks ago, when Eric Bischoff told his secretary to tell her secretary to leave a message on my answering machine for me to call Eric Bischoff, and then I called Eric Bischoff, and he proceeded to fire me over the phone, I thought a big cloud was lifted off the career of Steve Austin. Because gone were the days when I would walk up to someone and say, 'hey, what about me and Sting? We got this big thing goin', how about the cage?' and someone says, '(as Dusty Rhodes) no, baby, that's for somebody else. We're just gonna keep you right where you're at right now.' I said, 'well, how about me and Savage? I've got this great idea: he comes in, he's got the Slim Jim deal. Well, hell, I got--' 'no, Steve, that's for somebody else, baby.' Then you go, 'I got this great idea we could do with Hulk Hogan. I'm gonna be the Steve-amaniac and we're gonna take this thing all the way, because Hulk Hogan--Hulkamania was the biggest thing to ever come down wrestling's pike,' and they say 'no, that's not for you, brother; you can't do that. We're gonna keep you right where you are.'I said 'how about me and Brian get back together? The Hollywood Blondes was the best tag team to come along in ten years!' and they say, 'no, Steve. We need you in a singles role, man. We need you to do this: we're gonna put the U.S. Title on you, and then we're gonna take you here, and then you're the #1 contender, and then you've got this World Title shot,' well all that shit never happened! So there I am, flounderin' along, there's nothin' goin' my way because the politics in WCW kept the biggest potential superstar in wrestling, on the goddamn ground! What are you supposed to do? On one hand (looks at left hand), they're payin' you a bunch of money. They're paying me a bunch of money! And on this hand (looks at right hand), they're telling me, 'hey, go out there and give Bagwell a hell of a match. Go out there with an 18-year-old German kid, give him seven good minutes. Let the people see what he can do.' They say you are what you eat. In WCW, they didn't feed me nothin' but garbage, so I let myself become garbage. I became complacent with everything that they said, as long as big Ted kept sendin' in the checks. Maybe I wasn't happy with what was goin' on, but I became complacent. Then they send me to Japan, the big injury. Bischoff delivers the shot heard around the damn world. Steve Austin's out of a high-paying job. All of a sudden, the phone starts ringing off the hook. It's ECW, it's the WWF, it's All Japan, it's New Japan, and all Steve Austin's gotta do is make a decision. Tod Gordon, whether he mortgaged his house one time...two times...maybe three times, came up with the right figure for Steve Austin to make a decision. I strolled into the ECW Arena. It's the biggest piece of crap I've ever seen. I broke in in a building called the Sportatorium in Dallas, Texas, home of the world famous Von Erichs. Anybody that was anybody stepped foot in the Dallas Sportatorium. For the last two years, all you've heard about, anywhere in wrestling, is the famous ECW Arena. Debut night, I roll in. You got the Sandman, you got the Raven, you got the Pitbulls, you got Stevie Richards, you got the Public Enemy, you got the Gangstas, you got Mipey Whipwreck, whatever the hell his name is. You got a bunch of damn misfits running around thinking that they can actually wrestle. All I've seen in ECW is a bunch of violent crap. And that's exactly what I call it, because that's exactly what it is. Steve Austin is here to wrestle. It's what I do best. It's what I do better than anybody in the world. Dean Malenko... Eddie Guerrero... they got the big send-off. Tears were in everybody's eyes, it was a big deal. All Steve Austin got was a good swift kick in the ass as Bischoff hung up the phone and left me high and dry. There's no Hogans here. There's no Flairs here. There's not a Dusty Rhodes, and there damn sure isn't an Eric Bischoff here. There's no one that can hold back Steve Austin now. 'Stunning'? Tossed it out the window. Never was meant to be. ECW's gonna find out firsthand what Steve Austin can do. And I'm gonna show everybody here exactly what a true superstar is supposed to do. What a true superstar is supposed to be. Because no-one here can hold back. Not Tod Gordon, not Hulk Hogan, not Eric Bischoff...nobody. I'm gonna be the superstar that I always knew that I could be. Because there's no one...no one in ECW that can stop me.' - first promo in ECW
    • 'Hello, and welcome to Monday Nyquil, where the big boys play with each other. Tonight we've got a good show lined up. First I'm gonna fire someone on the phone, just like Steve Austin.'
    • 'I look down from the top of this ladder and I see two jabronis, and from some of the places I've been, about a five dollar piece of ass!' - referring to Mikey Whipwreck, the Sandman, and Woman
    • 'When I put this microphone your mouth, You say 'Yes Sir, Stone Cold!'' (while beating up Michael Cole)
    • 'Why You bowing up to me? You bowing up me, huh?' (to Michael Cole)
    • 'Your telling me, Stone Cold Steve Austin turns up the voltage, you don't wanna be my friend no more.' (To Jim Ross)
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