Aaron Allston Quotes

Aaron Allston offers sharp, funny takes on tragedy, tradition and being a one-of-a-kind.

41 quotes

  1. 'This would not be a problem if I were driving a snowplow.'

  2. 'The analysis of the thing is not the thing itself.'

  3. 'The difference between tragedy and comedy: Tragedy is something awful happening to somebody else, while comedy is something awful happening to somebody else.'

  4. 'The good thing about being Dr. Frankenstein is that you can always make new friends.'

  5. 'Luck consists largely of hanging on by your fingernails until things start to go your way.'

  6. 'I'm content to stand on tradition. I'm even more content to wipe my feet on it.'

  7. 'If you hack the Vatican server, have you tampered in God's domain?'

  8. 'Feminism is sort of like God. Many people profess to believe in it, but no one seems to be able to define it to everyone's satisfaction.'

  9. 'A scream queen is an actress who eeks out a living.'

  10. 'Any sufficiently badly-written science is indistinguishable from magic.' (aka Allston's Corollary to Clarke's Law)

  11. 'There are two types of people in the world, and I'm one of them.'

  12. 'No one pays me to be nice.'

  13. 'When all else fails, complicate matters.'

  14. 'Violence is the first refuge of the violent.'

  15. 'The way to a man's heart is through his chest.'

  16. 'Where can I get some tat? I'd like to trade it in.'

  17. 'The principle of Sturgeon's Razor states that the simplest answer to any problem is 90% crap.'

  18. 'Definition of 'Free': You pay for it whether or not you elect to receive it.'

  19. 'Ennui and lethargy are waging a war inside me.'

  20. 'I really can't complain about actresses who get paid to be dumb. Most of us can't get paid to be smart.'

  21. 'Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent.'

  22. 'Life is like an analogy.'

  23. 'The chief difference between horror fans and science fiction fans lies in why they won't walk backwards. A horror fan won't walk backwards because he knows he'll be knifed by a madman. A science fiction fan won't walk backwards because he knows he'll step on the cat.'

  24. No, they can't. They can't be Luke Skywalker.

  25. I marked their location in case Kell wanted to blow them up or something.” “I don’t have to blow up everything I see. I just like to.

  26. Tomer: “What's this?” Cabinet: “Wt's ths?” Wedge: “Cabinet.” Tomer: “I know it's a cabinet, but it's talking.” Cabinet: “...ts tlkng” Janson: “Oh that. It's the Catann Minister of Crawling Into Very Small Spaces.” Tycho: “He bet Wedge he could fold himself in the that cabinet, around the shelves and all.” Hobbie: “Never bet against Wedge. The Minister gets to stay in there until he admits that it was a stupid bet and that Wedge doesn't owe him anything.

  27. Rogue Squadron doesn’t run. Unless we really, really have to." "No, this will be Wraith Squadron’s mission." "We don’t mind running. Even when we don’t have to.

  28. Rogue Squadron doesn't run. Unless we really, really have to.

  29. And unlike the rest of you, he hasn’t yet time to ruin his career or his mind." "Then he won’t do. Send him home. Get us another lunatic." "Excuse me!" [hopping up to stand in his seat] "Elassar Targon, master of the universe, reporting for duty!" "I withdraw my objection.

  30. I was years older than you when I became an ambassador for the first time. Remember that, Tycho? How did we get through that assignment, anyway?” “Pretty much, we opened fire on everyone who disagreed with us.” Wedge nodded and turned to his daughter. “When all else fails, just do that.

  31. Oh, wonderful. I killed his father. He hates me. He knows how to make bombs. Come on, Wedge, how does this story end?

  32. Sometimes to heal, you must first get hurt.

  33. I don't know. Your the Jedi Master, you figure it out.

  34. That was interesting." "He deliberately countermanded one of my orders." "He was furtive." "Sneaky, even." "We'll make a Rebellion-style pilot of him yet." Tycho & Wedge (about Jag)

  35. Obviously a fake Kyp. You distract him. I'll shoot him under the table." Han (to Leia)

  36. “You can't measure what a boy did in innocence against what a man has to do for the rest of his life.”

  37. “When are they going to stop calling me General?" "When are they going to stop calling me Princess?" Han & Leia”

  38. “Begging your pardon, sir, but you’re crazy enough to be a Wraith." "Until you’ve crewed with me for a few years, kid, you have no idea what ‘crazy’ means.”

  39. “Mission One is the meeting with Zsinj. Face commands and has chosen Dia and Kell to accompany him. This is all intelligence gathering, very delicate, which is why the crew is full of deadly killers.”

  40. At which time the repulsor puts out its final effort and slows you down so you crash quite slowly into the surface." "Crash." "Quite slowly." Face & Luke

  41. There are times when the end justifies the means. But when you build an argument based on a whole series of such times, you may find that you've constructed an entire philosophy of evil." --Luke Skywalker