Catman Cohen Quotes

Catman Cohen mixes satire, social critique and surreal wishes in brief verses.

62 quotes

1. 'For those young, despondent, girls or boys who are embracing How I Want to Die as some kind of tribute to suicide or expression of their own personal death wishes, I only urge you to seek the counsel of friends, family, or mental health professionals. As somebody who has felt the depths of despair, I know how it feels to fall through a hole and feel as though there is no climbing out of it. But I also know that there are always blessings around us even in the worst of times and the key thing is to become aware of them...and learn to appreciate them to their fullest.'

2. 'I think we have reached a point in this country where the mindless pursuit of hedonism, bling-bling, and self-indulgence has reached a most obscene point. We have the wrong heroes in the worst way... and when the number one song on radio is a celebration of blow-jobs, well, enough said. In the face of a rapidly deteriorating societal infrastructure, with shortages in critical service sectors and inadequate facilities to maintain the systemic status quo, it is far past time to address matters of substance. In terms of music today, we need more Bob Dylans, fewer 50 Cents. We need more Joan Baez's, fewer Paris Hiltons.'

3. 'Nor do I blame those vacuous artists who are today's icons of consumerism and decadence, rather I blame a record industry that is morally bankrupt, spearheaded by avaricious, exploitative, opportunists who believe that a fundraiser held once or twice a year is enough to bandage the damage perpetrated upon the national Spirit through the purveyance of that which appeals to the lowest common denominator. Enough is enough, the people need to regain the Popular Arts from the thugs who have appropriated them, turning most contemporary Art into mere vehicles for the promotion of bimbo/himbo merchandise and thoughtless lifestyles.'

4. 'Although I commend aspects of his social viewpoints, nevertheless, we do not need more Kanye West types dividing us, we need more artists who inspire us to become a Family of One.'

5. 'The failure of the rescue infrastructure in New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina is unequivocal verification of the stresses resulting from insufficient rescue manpower, rescue equipment shortages, and inadequate rescue facilities in a society that prioritizes a vacuous Cult of Celebrity. Moreover, the New Orleans tragedy has shone a spotlight upon the lack of redundancy in every aspect of infrastructure throughout the country, in terms of sewage treatment plants, hydro-electric facilities, water pumping stations, oil refineries, etc. It is important to recognize that the various infrastructural crises are non-partisan in nature, given that both major political parties have done little if anything to address or rectify the dismal status quo. The country has no dearth of sports stadiums, concert venues, nightclubs, amusement parks, shopping malls, movie theaters, golf courses, and other facilities dedicated toward hedonism and consumerism. Yet, in terms of hospitals, firestations, schools, soldiers' barracks, police stations, etc., there is hardly a community today that is not in a state of alarming deficit. Artists today need to re-examine their priorities. The mindless party has gone on long enough and, if the chronic infrastructural deterioration is not addressed shortly, then we will have the opportunity to dance our lives away upon the deck of a sinking ship.'

6. 'The hallmark of any dying Empire is that they stop repairing the roads' ~ on America

7. 'Prosperity is the glue that holds the nation together and God help America the stormy day it disappears, when scapegoats will rain from Heaven, and minority will turn against minority in unrepressed rage' ~ on the American melting pot]

8. 'Do not name your children Paris, Britney, Ashley, Justin, Jesse or any other populist favorites because, in 20 more years, there will not be a child in the world who will want those names, the epithets for tired old wrinkled prunes with faded tattoos and droopy piercings, vestiges of a culture no longer sufficiently consumerist to warrant attention or interest from the taste-makers of the day' ~ on following the crowd

9. 'I no longer pay much attention to the names of politicians who allegedly govern us but I do know the names of our secret royalty, the respective chairmen and presidents of Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan Chase, Citigroup, Rothschild, and Warburg' ~ on politics

10. 'I met Paris Hilton, a sweet thin girl, who did not know who I am and, as I discovered, did not know who she is either, other than what the Media told her to be' ~ on Paris Hilton and The Cult of Celebrity

11. 'So far, I have not opted to become an American, not because of enormous cultural differences, but rather the inferior quality of chocolate bars sold in the USA' ~ on being a Canadian living in America

12. 'Some things just don't make sense anymore: if society pays a young songwriter royalties on a single creation until the day he dies, then why not pay a fireman equivalent royalties in perpetuity for his own 'act of art,' namely the extinguishment of a single, major fire in which many lives are saved?' ~ on resurrecting neglected heroes

13. 'I am not a big fan of musical or verbal illiteracy, even in the name of teenage rebellion, but the Rap handshake, fist touching fist, is a blessing I hope will replace the traditional handshake mainstream: less germs, fewer diseases, and not as sticky' ~ on the music industry

14. 'There are corporate elites whose ultimate dream would be to make every human purchase water through a bottle someday...even the water you use for a shower or bath. It seems to me that water is the one commodity that cannot be priced so high that only the rich can afford it' ~ on the bottled water industry's role in the approaching fresh water crisis

15. 'Advertisers control the music biz and God help the artists whose songs or lifestyles fail to endorse the consumption of bling-bling. Maybe I'm doomed because the only product I want to sell anybody is the bling-bling of awareness' ~ on the music industry

16. 'We need to place velvet ropes around the hospitals, fire-stations, schools, soldiers barracks, and police stations of this nation. People should line up in front of those buildings, begging for entrance, as though they were the hottest nightclubs in the nation. It should be a privilege, no less than a divine honor, to touch or receive an autograph from a nurse, fireman, soldier, teacher, or cop today. They are the heroes we need to reclaim desperately or we will perish in a society whose caretakers have become pretty heiresses, porno muscle-heads, ball players, fame groupies, and aspiring entertainers' ~ on resurrecting neglected heroes

17. 'I've always feared death by old age where one wastes away and sees one body part after another slowly fail. I really do believe that Hell in many forms can exist on Earth, not in any afterlife....and most of the elderly know what I mean. So I've often fantasized that, if I had to choose my death, then one that takes me out quickly (no matter how violent) and, at the same time, allows me to save a child in distress, would be the ideal way to go' ~ on death

18. 'Cohen is a 'yellow star' name, one that immediately identifies me as a Jew to the world, and unlike so many other Jews whose Anglo-Saxonized identities blend in with the crowd, I do not have the luxury of taking a vacation from the enemies of my name' ~ on being a Jew*

19. 'Never met a cat I didn't like and I have the scratches to prove it' ~ on cats.

20. 'I really identify with cats....mysterious, independent, and affectionate. They say that cats have nine lives and, in my mind, that is equivalent to an eternity....such heavenly creatures, not with wings, but rather soft, soothing purrs' ~ on cats

21. 'I am essentially an existentialist, strongly influenced by the writings of Sartre and Camus. I believe that every instant of time is unique and discrete. Tomorrow need not resemble today in any way shape or form. What that means is that, no matter how wonderful life may be today, we all stand on the cusp of disaster....and it is important to be social activists who take measures that preclude tragedies from occurring' ~ on social activism

22. 'The entertainment biz and Big Media have institutionalized rebellion, nihilism, vulgarity, sybaritism, and social anomie to the point where it has become mainstream to spit in the face of 'The System.' Self-obsession has become the norm while community service is disparaged as the terrain belonging to naive fools, 'the uncool,' insufferable Pollyannas, and the unfashionably dull . We have reached a nadir where the true rebels today certainly are not the centi-millionaire celeb idols like Marilyn Manson, Eminem, etc., or their hordes of sheep-like followers, but rather those increasingly rare, beleaguered, nine to fivers who toil in the trenches, struggling to keep the machine running and prevent the lights from going out' ~ on redefining 'rebellion' in society today

23. 'Every once and a while, the Universe allows me a visit to my late father in my dreams, and for those few moments, I cannot begin to describe my joy, and when my eyes pop open and he disappears, I can barely endure my despair' ~ on family

24. 'I want to become the first music artist to live forever. You see, if all I am is a shadow behind a screen, then anybody with a low bullfrog voice can be the Catman. That means, when my time on this planet ends, another person can step in and continue The Catman Chronicles, another person can assume my identity and address a new litany of compelling social causes with each music project created' ~ on immortality

25. 'My greatest tragedy in life has not been lack of luck, but rather the inability to recognize it or have the balls to act upon it - and my greatest triumph in life is realizing that, in so many ways, I am truly the luckiest person on the planet' ~ on bad luck

26. Step into my church and pray for a nation growing dumber every day ~ 'Prayer for America'

27. We're wasting too many hours discussing Pam Anderson's rack, wasting too much time wondering if Michael's still black ~ 'Prayer for America'

28. We need more nurses and more burn wards, fewer actors collecting dumb awards ~ 'Prayer for America'

29. I'll take a bullet from a gun, a knife wound in my chest, that's how I want to die, just like a Catcher in the Rye ~ 'How I Want to Die'

30. And my only wish for you, my brother, is someday you'll understand, how it feels to be a corpse walking amongst your fellow man ~ 'The Crime of Being Me'

31. In dreams she feels me beside her, as I stoke her female fire, in a world that feels so lonely, and I fill her need and hope ~ 'The Mentor'

32. You're my white baby, black baby, yellow baby too, my Christ baby, Buddha baby, Mohammed, and Jew ~ 'Family of One'

33. There's nothing I can write today, I could have written way back then, nothing I can write today could be written with a younger pen ~ 'Baby, Am I Too Late?'

34. I reach for you in a bed gone dark, I feel for you in the empty air, I reach for you in dreams so scared, I can't believe that you're not there ~ 'My Key to the Stars'

35. In dark, deep caves where snakes grow big, that's where I learned how I want to live ~ 'How I Want to Live'

36. There are people in our lives who cause us pain, from whom we cannot flee, there are people in this world who would bring us sweet love, we can never hope to meet ~ 'We Spoke of God'

37. Tattooed flesh shrivels in the coming drought, wet pierced tongues, sandy paper when the party's done ~ 'Water is Blood'

38. Some answers in life are so easy, like zero plus zero is none, but how do we divide the smell of flowers so their fragrance is shared by everyone? ~ 'If I Could Divide the Smell of Flowers'

39. Tomorrow's not always like today, and if you want it to be OK, got to do your share to end the pain ~ 'Tomorrow's Not Always Like Today'

40. If they wanted Yin, I gave them Yang, if they wanted me to dance, that's when I sang, no luck at all, the dark cloud never leaves me ~ 'No Luck at All'

41. Love's a shicket wanna doopoo, Love's a furter gobba looloo, when you kiss me onna kookoo, makes me nokka fokka booyoo ~ 'Sounds of Love'

42. Father, you believed, never let me bleed, helped me in my grief, helped me in my need, Dad, I love you so ~ 'Father, You Believed'

43. We cannot start with God and deduce the universe from his existence; we must start with the world as we know it, and deduce God from the world.

44. It's usually easier to rouse stupidity to action than to arouse wisdom to effort, for wisdom sees alternatives while stupidity lacks the imagination to do this. All sinister interests in a country can depend ultimately upon the strength of stupidity.

45. It is useless saying that we do not accept the gods of the primitive world. In form, no; in essence, yes. The fact before us is that all ideas of gods can be traced to the earliest stages of human history… There is an unbroken line of descent linking the gods of the most primitive peoples to those of modern man. We reject the world of the savage; but we still, in our churches, mosques, synagogues and temples, perpetuate the theories he built upon that world.

46. Who knows the origin of religion? Certainly not the one who believes in it. Understanding and belief are quite antagonistic. The man who understands religion does not believe in it, the man who believes in it does not understand it.

47. Atheism, the absence of belief in gods, is a comparatively late phenomenon in history.

48. The devil and God are components of a Siamese twin. Neither has any existence apart from the other. In denying the existence of the one, Christians have helped to kill the other. If there need to be no fear of hell, people may well ask what is the attraction of heaven? Gods and devils were born together. Gods and devils will die together.

49. If one believes in a god, one is a Theist. If one does not believe in a god, then one is an A-theist — he is without that belief. The distinction between atheism and theism is entirely, exclusively, that of whether one has or has not a belief in God.

50. The trick is, after all, obvious. The Theist takes terms that can apply to sentient life alone, and applies them to the universe at large. He talks about means, that is, the deliberate planning to achieve certain ends, and then says that as there are means there must be ends. Having, unperceived, placed the rabbit in the hat, he is able to bring it forth to the admiration of his audience.

51. Worship God. It’s easier than thinking.

52. It is not, after all, so very hard to acquire a fortune; the real difficulty is to deserve one.

53. Regularity in Nature is not proof of the control of Nature by a Divine intelligence; it is rather the reverse. If something- call it matter, or ether, or x - exists, it must operate in accordance with its innate qualities; and so long as this x remains uncontrolled, its manifestations will continue unchallenged- in other words, there will be order. The same causes, the same results. That is the manifest signs of a natural order that knows nothing of God.

54. Human society is born in the shadow of religious fear, and in that stage the suppression of heresy is a sacred social duty. Then comes the rise of a priesthood, and the independent thinker is met with punishment in this world and the threat of eternal damnation hereafter. Even today it is from the religious side that the greatest danger to freedom of thought comes. Religion is the last thing man will civilize.

55. All my life I have made it a rule never to permit a religious man or woman take for granted that his or her religious beliefs deserved more consideration than non-religious beliefs or anti-religious ones. I never agree with that foolish statement that I ought to respect the views of others when I believe them to be wrong.

56. I have hitherto followed the lines marked out by the Theist in his attempt to prove that there exists a mind behind natural phenomena, and that the universe as we have it is, at least generally, an evidence of a plan designed by this mind. I have also pointed out that the only datum for such a conclusion is the universe we know. We must take that as a starting point. We can get neither behind it nor beyond it. We cannot start with God and deduce the universe from his existence; we must start with the world as we know it, and deduce God from the world.

57. Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.

58. The worst that one can say of the Christian clergyman today is that he actually believes what he teaches.

59. Religion is very enlightening - to those who don't understand it.

60. But there are still many who continue to marvel at the wisdom of God in so planning the universe that big rivers run by great towns, and that death comes at the end of life instead of in the middle of it. Divest pleas ... of their semi-philosophic jargon, reduce his illustrations to homely similes, and he is marvelling at the wisdom of God who so planned things that the two extremities of a piece of wood should come at the ends instead of in the middle.

61. The belief in God is not therefore based on the perception of design in nature. Belief in design in nature is based upon the belief in God. Things are as they are whether there is a God or not. Logically, to believe in design one must start with God. He, or it, is not a conclusion but a datum. You may begin by assuming a creator, and then say he did this or that; but you cannot logically say that because certain things exist, therefore there is a God who made them. God is an assumption, not a conclusion. And it is an assumption that explains nothing.

62. Persecution is the compliment paid by a threatened lie to a conquering truth.