Cedric the Entertainer Quotes

Cedric the Entertainer delivers sharp, street-wise jokes about tea, cages, and wild adventures, great for anyone after a laugh.

17 quotes

  1. '...and don't tell me to be cool. I am cool!'

  2. 'Dabu (Andre Benjamin), tea? What's with the finger; what's that? That's not gangsta! That's not gangsta!'

  3. (to Violet) 'Little girl, the big cage door is open. No snake. Dead guy. You know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking who woke me up at nine in the morning for this?'

  4. 'Save it for a mammal who cares.'

  5. 'They've come to kill us! And take our women! And our precious metals!'

  6. I've been blessed to have a long career.

  7. Ive been blessed to have a long career.

  8. Play my records! You hear me? Play! Play! Play my records! Play Dub Records! Dub MD's!

  9. If I want my chips? Yeah, I want my chips. Who is this?

  10. Look dawg, I know selling the tickets was wrong. But look, I took the 2 grand I made and bought Lovita a real nice rolex watch. So I got 1950 left.

  11. I can't go to jail, not with his soft skin and these boyish good looks. I'll be snapped up before the first lights out!

  12. The D.C. sniper is the "Jackie Robinson" of crime! He broke into the crazy White leagues!

  13. Shane, look over there! He cut a patch in the li'l boy head; got him lookin' like "101 Dalmatians." You ever heard a' that movie? He look like a Dalmatian! That's one hundred an' two!

  14. We as comics do want an immediate response from the audience. It's really quiet on the set, and there are only the producers, and the director, so a comic is looking for someone to give a reaction, even if it is the camera guy.

  15. Wait, hold on here. Is this a barbershop? Is this a barbershop? If we can't talk straight in a barbershop, then where can we talk straight? We can't talk straight nowhere else. You know, this ain't nothin' but healthy conversation, that's all.

  16. I met this dude the other day named Daryl...he gon' tell me to call him "Delicious". "Ced, you can just call me 'Delicious'". [Laughs, then becomes serious] I'm a grown-ass man, dawg. I ain't gonna call no other dude "Delicious"! What if that nigga way down the street or summin? "'DELICIOUS'!!! Ay, D, hol' up!".

  17. There are three things that Black people need to tell the truth about. Number one: Rodney King should've gotten his ass beat for being drunk in a Honda a white part of Los Angeles. Number two: O.J. did it! And number three: Rosa Parks didn't do nuthin' but sit her Black ass down!