Eric Berne Quotes
Eric Berne delivers sharp, witty takes on how we speak and relate, perfect for anyone curious about everyday psychology.
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A healthy person goes 'Yes,' 'No,' and 'Whoopee!' An unhealthy person goes 'Yes, but,' 'No, but,' and 'No whoopee.'
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A loser doesn't know what he'll do if he loses, but talks about what he'll do if he wins, and a winner doesn't talk about what he'll do if he wins, but knows what he'll do if he loses.
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A whole page of learned polysyllables may not convey as much as the statement that a certain woman is a bitch, or that a certain man is a jerk.
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Each person designs his own life, freedom gives him the power to carry out his own designs, and power gives the freedom to interfere with the designs of others.
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Forty's kind of like New Year's. It's an age to think about what you've done up till now, and what you ought to do in the future.
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Games are a compromise between intimacy and keeping intimacy away.
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No man is a hero to his wife's psychiatrist.
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The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing.
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The only time human beings are sane is the 10 minutes after intercourse.
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A winner fulfills his contract with the world and with himself. That is, he sets out to do something, says that he is committed to doing it, and in the long run does it.
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Every man must, in a measure, be alone in the world. No heart was ever cast in the same mould as that which we bear within us.
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The destiny of every human being is decided by what goes on inside his skull when confronted by what goes on outside his skull.
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Whatever you do, think of next morning's headlines.
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Some say that one-sided love is better than none, but like half a loaf of bread, it is likely to grow hard and moldy sooner.
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Love is nature's psychotherapy.
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It is better to be a slave to your beloved woman than a free man to the unloved one.
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Awareness requires living in the here and now, and not in the elsewhere, the past or the future.
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Human life [is] ... a process of filling in time until the arrival of death, or Santa Claus, with very little choice, if any, of what kind of business one is going to transact during the long wait.
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Losers spend time explaining why they lost. Losers spend their lives thinking about what they're going to do. They rarely enjoy doing what they're doing.
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Awareness means the capacity to see a coffeepot and hear the birds sing in one's own way and not the way one was taught.
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“Beautiful friendships” are often based on the fact that the players complement each other with great economy and satisfaction, so that there is a maximum yield with a minimum effort from the games they play with each other.”
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“The essential and similar feature of both procedures and rituals is that they are stereotyped. Once the first transaction has been initiated, the whole series is predictable and follows a predetermined course to a foreordained conclusion unless special conditions arise.”
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The eternal problem of the human being is how to structure his waking hours
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“Society frowns upon candidness, except in privacy; good sense knows that it can always be abused; and the Child fears it because of the unmasking which it involves. Hence in order to get away from the ennui of pastimes without exposing themselves to the dangers of intimacy, most people compromise for games when they are available, and these fill the major part of the more interesting hours of social intercourse. That is the social significance of games.”
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“But wether I am faking on a player piano, or striking the chords with the power of my own mind and hands, the song of my life is equally suspenseful and full of surprises as it rolls off the pulsating sounding board of destiny - a barcarole that either way will leave, I hope, happy echoes behind”
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Such a woman is called "Mother's FRIEND" always ready to give judicious Parental advice and living vicariously on the experience of others
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“Pastimes and games are substitutes for the real living of real intimacy.”