---
title: "Jack Dee Quotes on Humor | QuotesBy.net"
description: "10 quotes by Jack Dee about humor."
image: "https://quotesby.net/wp-content/themes/quotesby-editorial/assets/og-default.png"
---

## Jack Dee quotes on humor

1. > My grandfather died last week, and we buried him at sea. Well, I say we buried him at sea; it was actually a village in north Wales at the time.

[Permalink to quote \#3](https://quotesby.net/Jack-Dee/3/ "Permalink to quote 3")
2. > \[on pre-EU British passports\] You used them to shove aside officials. 'Out of my way, Johnny-foreigner! Reason for visit? Imperialism!'

[Permalink to quote \#4](https://quotesby.net/Jack-Dee/4/ "Permalink to quote 4")
3. > I thought that I saw your name on a bag of bread but when I reread it, it said 'Thick Cut'.

[Permalink to quote \#8](https://quotesby.net/Jack-Dee/8/ "Permalink to quote 8")
4. > I had a wet dream about you last night. I dreamt you got hit by a bus, and I pissed myself laughing.

[Permalink to quote \#9](https://quotesby.net/Jack-Dee/9/ "Permalink to quote 9")
5. > I had a blowjob once. I didn't like the taste.

[Permalink to quote \#11](https://quotesby.net/Jack-Dee/11/ "Permalink to quote 11")
6. > I always love it when a great, new, comedian gets hit by a bus.

[Permalink to quote \#12](https://quotesby.net/Jack-Dee/12/ "Permalink to quote 12")
7. > I've had death threats... well a petition.

[Permalink to quote \#14](https://quotesby.net/Jack-Dee/14/ "Permalink to quote 14")
8. > I knew this suit was going to be a problem when i went into the store and asked them 'will this make me look fat?' and they replied 'why shouldn't it, you are'

[Permalink to quote \#15](https://quotesby.net/Jack-Dee/15/ "Permalink to quote 15")
9. > (Imitating an old woman) Well when i was a child there was a carnival and we used to play this game called put the apple in the bucket, i was very good at this game, you brought your own apple and you gave the man a penny to put the apple in his bucket, and when the bucket was full he got in a van and fucked off.

[Permalink to quote \#16](https://quotesby.net/Jack-Dee/16/ "Permalink to quote 16")
10. > I was gonna get a BMW and rang my dad who knows a bit about cars. He said, 'You can't get a German car after what your granddad went through in the war.' Now I didn't know about this but apparently, during the Second World War, my granddad had a succession of very unreliable German cars.

[Permalink to quote \#19](https://quotesby.net/Jack-Dee/19/ "Permalink to quote 19")

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