Jane Wagner Quotes

• Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
• Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it....
• Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
• When you're dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you're not the one who's leading.
• It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
• All my life, I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
• If I had known what it would be like to have it all... I might have been willing to settle for less.
• Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
• No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
• I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.
• Your problem is your role models were models.
• I swear people don't want sex so much as they want somebody who'll listen to 'em ... the first thing you learn after fellatio is how to listen.
• Remember we're all in this alone.
• Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
• For fast acting relief, try slowing down.
• If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
• If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?
• If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
• If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.
• Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
• The best mind-altering drug is truth.
• The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
• Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying - but when God talks to us, we're said to be schizophrenic?
• Interviewer: You once said you had a drug problem... Lily: Yeah, I still do. It's so hard to find good grass these days.
• Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

jane wagner