Robb Wilton Quotes

• Woman: Do come along quick, there's a house on fire. Fire Chief: A house on fire? Just a moment, lady - what's the address? Woman: Grimshaw Street. Fire Chief: Grimshaw Street - Grimshaw ... now wait a minute, I know it as well as can be, and I just can't place it. Woman: Oh come along, it's only just round... Fire Chief: No, no, no - don't tell me, let me try and think of it for myself. Grimshaw St-... oh, isn't that annoying, I could walk straight to it, and I can't think of it.
• He said 'I'll punch your head!' I said 'Whose?' He said 'Yours!' I said 'Mine?' He said 'Yes!' I said 'Oh?' He said 'Want a fight?' I said 'Who?' He said 'You!' I said 'Me?' He said 'Yes!' I said 'No!' So we then came to words, he said 'You're a cad!' I said 'Cad?' He said 'Yes!' I said 'Who?' He said 'Who?' I said 'Yes.' He said 'You!' I said 'Oh!' So of course then I knew.
• The day war broke out, my Missus said to me - she looked at me and she said, 'What good are you?'
• 'Well,' she said, 'All the young fellas'll be getting called up and you'll have to go back to work!' Ooh - she's got a cruel tongue!
• She said,'What are you supposed to do?' I said, 'I'm supposed to stop Hitler's army landing.' She said, 'What! - you?' I said, 'No - there's Charlie Evans, Dick Roberts...I said, 'There's seven or eight of us, altogether.' I said, 'We're in a group.' I said, 'We're on guard in a little hut behind the Dog and Pullet.' She said, 'What's the good of being in a little hut behind the Dog and Pullet?' She said, 'I suppose that was your idea!' I said, 'Aye, and that Charlie Evans wants to claim it as his!'
• She said, 'Do you know this Hitler? Have you ever met him?' I said, 'Do I - of course I don't!' She said, 'Well how are you going to know which is him if they do land?' I said, 'Well, I've got a tongue in my head, haven't I?'

robb wilton