Weird Al Yankovic Quotes

Weird Al Yankovic's page feels like a zany, witty mash-up on tech, copyright and justice, perfect for fans of clever parody.

17 quotes

  1. Alanis Morissette and I actually used to date. I especially liked it when we went to the movies.

  2. That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

  3. I wrote 'Eat It' because I wanted to buy a house. It worked.

  4. I have very mixed feelings about [Napster]. On one hand, I'm concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!!!!!

  5. What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?

    #5 Attribution disputed; shown as originally published.

  6. I think my chances of getting into the Rock 'N' Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli's.

  7. My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child.

  8. I'll never forget the first thing she said to me: 'Hey - you have weasels all over your face.' Right then I knew it was true love.

  9. Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia

  10. I'm nerdy to the extreme Whiter than sour cream

  11. I sued Taco Bell 'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas And I got fat! I sued Panasonic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave To dry off my cat!

  12. Oh, you don't wanna mess with the R-I-double-A They'll sue you if you burn that CD-R It doesn't matter if you're a grandma, or a seven-year-old girl They'll treat you like the evil, hard-bitten, criminal scum you are

  13. Never had a date That you couldn't inflate

  14. If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.

  15. Well, besides working on the album, I got married and had a kid. So, you know, in spite of that petition that was floating around asking me not to reproduce, I did it anyway.

  16. “I notice you're not wearing any... galloshes ;)”

  17. I love Rocky Road.