Quotes
- People call me an over-actor, people who say this might call Van Gogh an over- painter.
- I rarely drink coffee. I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.
- If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.
- I don't think human beings learn anything without desperation. Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything or creating anything. Period. If you ain't desperate at some point, you ain't interesting.
- Green Eggs and Ham was the story of my life. I wouldn't eat a thing when I was a kid, but Dr. Seuss inspired me to try cauliflower.
- I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever.
- Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
- It's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they'd be like, 'Yeah, big deal. I'd eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you're pulling down.'
- Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.
- I've done it! I've defiled a timeless piece of art! For my next bit, I'll paint a clown face on the Mona Lisa while using the Shroud of Turin as a drop cloth! (Heard during a cover version of The Beatles' song I Am the Walrus)
- 'It was me!' (Liar, Liar) (after passing gas in a crowded elevator)
- 'I've had better.' (Liar Liar) (after having sex with one of his law partners)
- 'Mock......ing.....bird.....yeah.' (Dumb and Dumber)
- 'They're little footballs.' (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective)
- 'I simply love what you've done with this place! (to Two-Face) Heavy Metal meets House & Garden! Ha ha ha! It's so...dark and gothic! Despisingly decedant! And yet so...bright and chipper, and (hops happily across)..conservative. Very few people are both a summer and a winter, but...you pull it off nicely.' (Batman Forever)
- 'B-E-A-utiful.' (Bruce Almighty)
- 'Anyways, I've seen your mind, freak. Yours is the greatest riddle of all! Can Bruce Wayne and Batman ever truly co-exist? We'll find out today! But first...(in game show host tone)..Let's meet our contestants! (Batman Forever)
- 'Alllll-righty then!' (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective)
- 'The claw!' (Liar Liar)
- 'Smokin'!' (The Mask)
- 'P-A-R-T-Why... because I gotta!' (The Mask)
- 'Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.' (Bruce Almighty)
- 'Are those non-fat muffins! Are they non-fat?' (Fun With Dick and Jane)
- 'Loser.' (Pronounced: 'lah-who...za-her') (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls)
- 'I'm kicking my ass, do you mind?' (Liar, Liar)
- 'Where are my keys?' (The Mask)
- 'Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. It responds like a snail to our impatience...then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch your breath.' (Simon Birch)
- 'Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.' (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
- 'Solve World hunger, TELL NOBODY!' (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)
- 'I'm Bruce Nolan from Eyewitness News, back to you fuckers! (Bruce Almighty)
- 'And the truth, shall set you free!' (Liar, Liar)
- 'Joygasm!' (Batman Forever)
- 'Even if you can't hear them or see them at all, a person's a person, no matter how small. That's my code. My motto.' (Horton Hears A Who!)
jim carrey
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