- I'm not a gay man, but I will say this: I get it now. I know what all the hype is about.
- How big are muffins going to get before we all join hands across America? Have you seen them? They're huge. You walk in, 'Yeah, I'll take a coffee and... Oh, my God! Yeah, I'll take the bean bag chair with raisins. Wooh! Yeah! Alright, can't believe this is fat-free! Hey, you wanna help me out to the trunk of my car? No, leave the Saran Wrap on it I'll use it to cover my pool, this is good.'
- When you're big you don't need a reason to sweat. You don't, right? My friends cannot grab a hold of this concept. They come up to me all the time 'Jeez... what have you been doing. You been jumping rope in the attic or something?'...'... Well, I peeled an orange.. About an hour ago, why?'
- This guy had no idea what phone number rhythm was, and that pissed me off. Especially if an area code's involved, like: Two One Two, bah bah bah, bah bah, bah bah. That is the rhythm I think we're all familiar with. This guy had no idea at all, I was like 'Okay, Hank, give me the number' 'Aright it's two one two nine' [pulls away from phone in disbelief] [Puts phone back to ear] 'Fifteen eight eleven six-four-t-t-five-f-f-seven....two..' [pulls back again in disbelief] [Puts phone up to ear again] 'Did you throw in your zip code, I've got a lot of extra numbers over here, I almost have enough to make a new number, I have extra, What d'ya got!? Start again from the top!