Ann Landers Quotes

Ann Landers gives witty, practical advice on smiles, marriage, and the strange pull of television.

31 quotes

1. A smile is the cheapest way to improve your looks, even if your teeth are crooked.

2. At every party there are two kinds of people, those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

3. Class is an aura of confidence that is being sure without being cocky. Class has nothing to do with money. Class never runs scared. It is self-discipline and self-knowledge. It's the sure footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life.

4. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

5. If nobody minds, it doesn't matter.

6. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing. If you don't have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.

7. If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.

8. Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.

9. Nobody gets to live life backwards. Look ahead, that is where your future lies.

10. Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.

11. Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

12. The Lord gave us two ends-one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.

13. The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie.

14. Too many people today know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

15. Women complain about sex more often than men. Their gripes fall into two major categories: (1) Not enough. (2) Too much.

16. You need that guy like a giraffe needs strep throat.

17. There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who say, 'What happened?'

18. Bragging is not an attractive trait, but let's be honest. A man who catches a big fish doesn't go home through an alley.

19. Bragging is not an attractive trait, but lets be honest. A man who catches a big fish doesnt go home through an alley.

20. If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, youll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.

21. Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquillity of a lovely sunset.

22. Maturity: Be able to stick with a job until it is finished. Be able to bear an injustice without having to get even. Be able to carry money without spending it. Do your duty without being supervised.

23. Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead; that is where your future lies. Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them. People who care about each other enjoy doing things for one another. There are really only three types of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who say, What happened?

24. People who care about each other enjoy doing things for one another. They don't consider it servitude.

25. guilt is a pollutant and we don't need any more of it in the world.

26. Remember, it takes two to make an argument. The one who is wrong is the one who will be doing most of the talking.

27. The real question is why are millions of people so unhappy, so bored, so unfulfilled, that they are willing to drink, snort, inject or inhale any substance that might blot out reality and give them a bit of temporary relief.

28. Some men have no idea how to romance a woman. However, women who teach their husbands what they like will be well-rewarded.

29. A cigarette is a roll of paper, tobacco, and drugs, with a small fire on one end and a large fool at the other. Some of its chief benefits are cancer of the lips and stomach, softening of the brain, funeral procesions, and families shrouded in gloom and grief. Although a great many people know this, they still smoke in order to appear sophisticated.

30. Warmth, kindness, and friendship are the most yearned for commodities in the world. The person who can provide them will never be lonely.

31. The minute more than two people know a secret, it is no longer a secret.