Jim Carrey Quotes

Jim Carrey delivers witty, off-beat humor about life and stress, turning everyday absurdities into laugh-out-loud moments.

59 quotes

1. People call me an over-actor, people who say this might call Van Gogh an over- painter.

2. I rarely drink coffee. I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.

3. If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.

4. I don't think human beings learn anything without desperation. Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything or creating anything. Period. If you ain't desperate at some point, you ain't interesting.

5. Green Eggs and Ham was the story of my life. I wouldn't eat a thing when I was a kid, but Dr. Seuss inspired me to try cauliflower.

6. I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever.

7. Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

8. It's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they'd be like, 'Yeah, big deal. I'd eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you're pulling down.'

9. Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.

10. I've done it! I've defiled a timeless piece of art! For my next bit, I'll paint a clown face on the Mona Lisa while using the Shroud of Turin as a drop cloth! (Heard during a cover version of The Beatles' song I Am the Walrus)

11. 'It was me!' (Liar, Liar) (after passing gas in a crowded elevator)

12. 'I've had better.' (Liar Liar) (after having sex with one of his law partners)

13. 'Mock......ing.....bird.....yeah.' (Dumb and Dumber)

14. 'They're little footballs.' (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective)

15. 'I simply love what you've done with this place! (to Two-Face) Heavy Metal meets House & Garden! Ha ha ha! It's so...dark and gothic! Despisingly decedant! And yet so...bright and chipper, and (hops happily across)..conservative. Very few people are both a summer and a winter, but...you pull it off nicely.' (Batman Forever)

16. 'B-E-A-utiful.' (Bruce Almighty)

17. 'Anyways, I've seen your mind, freak. Yours is the greatest riddle of all! Can Bruce Wayne and Batman ever truly co-exist? We'll find out today! But first...(in game show host tone)..Let's meet our contestants! (Batman Forever)

18. 'Alllll-righty then!' (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective)

19. 'The claw!' (Liar Liar)

20. 'Smokin'!' (The Mask)

21. 'P-A-R-T-Why... because I gotta!' (The Mask)

22. 'Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.' (Bruce Almighty)

23. 'Are those non-fat muffins! Are they non-fat?' (Fun With Dick and Jane)

24. 'Loser.' (Pronounced: 'lah-who...za-her') (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls)

25. 'I'm kicking my ass, do you mind?' (Liar, Liar)

26. 'Where are my keys?' (The Mask)

27. 'Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. It responds like a snail to our impatience...then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch your breath.' (Simon Birch)

28. 'Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.' (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

29. 'Solve World hunger, TELL NOBODY!' (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)

30. 'I'm Bruce Nolan from Eyewitness News, back to you fuckers! (Bruce Almighty)

31. 'And the truth, shall set you free!' (Liar, Liar)

32. 'Joygasm!' (Batman Forever)

33. 'Even if you can't hear them or see them at all, a person's a person, no matter how small. That's my code. My motto.' (Horton Hears A Who!)

34. I love playing ego and insecurity combined.

35. Morgan Freeman is so class. He's so cool. He's so scary.

36. Our eyes are not viewers, they're also projectors that are running a second story over the picture that we see in front of us all the time. Fear is writing that script, and the working title is 'I'll never be enough'

37. Fear is going to be a player in your life, but you get to decide how much!

38. Well this is just a fist. But when I start throwing it around I can leave one hell of a mess.

39. I don't believe in this fairy tale of staying together for ever. Ten years with somebody is enough. In ten years, you can give a lot of love.

40. Hope walks through the fire and faith leaps over it.

41. Usually you regret the things you say no to.

42. I don't think you can know God unless you're passionate about him so you're either screaming at him, enraptured with the idea of being around him or feeling him in your life.

43. Creative people don't behave very well generally. If you're looking for examples of good relationships in show business, you're gonna be depressed real fast. I don't have time for anything else right now but work and my daughter. She's my first priority.

44. Come back here so that I may brain thee!

45. It's our intention. Our intention is everything. Nothing happens on this planet without it. Not one single thing has ever been accomplished without intention.

46. You know what the trouble about real life is? Theres no danger music.

47. If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting in my house today working on my Leonardo DiCaprio impression.

48. I hate Christmas. I do think it is odd that I have wound up playing these two iconic Christmas haters. It is the same story, in a way. Scrooge is the original Grinch. I think I am perfectly suited, because I have had some dark Christmases.

49. Always turn your wheel in the direction of the skid.

50. My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.

51. I don't remember yesterday. I pretty much live in the moment.

52. Risk being seen in all of your glory.

53. There are two thoughts that will ensure success in all you do; (1) Don't tell everything you know, and (2) until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.

54. I think it's important never to look a gift horse in the mouth, never to overlook your talents [and] what you're good at.

55. Lots of people say if you dredge too much stuff up, you'll go crazy - "You'll go insane!" But for a comedian, insanity is not a problem. It's a goal.

56. I love the idea that 'a person is a person no matter how small'.

57. It is better to risk starving to death then surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what's left?

58. If you give up on your dreams, what's left?

59. The exit from agony is always there. The tunnel out of the agony sector is always in front of you and yet you don't take it. You don't take it by choice. You want to indulge a lot and be in pain. The easiest way out is to write a list of what you're grateful for. If everybody literally did that before they went to bed at night, there'd be no unhappy people.