Mae West Quotes

Mae West delivers cheeky, bold humor about love and sex, perfect for anyone craving a playful take on relationships.

65 quotes

1. Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.

2. Why don't you come up sometime and see me? ... Come on up, I'll tell your fortune.

3. Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

4. Peel me a grape.

5. When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

6. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

7. Between two evils, I generally like to pick the one I never tried before.

8. A man in the house is worth two in the street.

9. It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men

10. When women go wrong, men go right after them.

11. One and one is two; two and two is four; and 'five will get you ten' if you work it right!

12. To a young actor How tall are you without your horse? Six foot, seven inches! Never mind the six feet. Let's talk about the seven inches!

13. I'm the kinda girl who works for Paramount by day, and Fox all night

14. To her British lover about to climb in bed with 80-something Mae: She said that she hoped soon to be able to say what Paul Revere said - 'The British are coming'. This was the last one-liner Mae ever uttered on film.

15. A hard man is good to find.

16. An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.

17. Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.[6]

18. He who hesitates is a damned fool.

19. It's hard to find a good man, but it's good to find a hard one.

20. His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

21. I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

22. I consider sex a misdemeanor; the more I miss, de meaner I get.

23. I do all my best work in bed.

24. I feel like a million tonight. But one at a time.

25. I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

26. I never meant 'Come up and see me some time' to be sexy.

27. I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

28. I've been in more laps than a napkin.[6]

29. If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

30. It is better to be looked over than being overlooked.

31. Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

32. Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.[6]

33. Reputation is everything.

34. Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore, and I think that's very important.

35. Sex is an emotion in motion.

36. Sex is like bridge; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.[7]

37. Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love- that's not so bad either.

38. She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.[6]

39. Speak up for yourself, or you'll end up a rug.

40. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

41. Too much of a good thing can be simply wonderful.[8]

42. When you get the personality, you don't need the nudity.

43. You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

44. You may think you're in love when the passions of sex get hold of you, but if you didn't love the man before, you won't love him after. Live him, maybe- but not love him.

45. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

46. It isnt what I do, but how I do it. It isnt what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.

47. Ive been in more laps than a napkin.

48. Ill try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

49. I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

50. It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.

51. Reason was nowhere, time was an immovable object nailed high on the wall, except where the world kept shop.

52. I've been in 'Who's Who' and I know what's what, but it'll be the first time I ever made the dictionary.

53. Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

54. The finest woman that ever walked the streets.

55. A real farmer. He spent his childhood in the wheat, and his marriage in the hay.

56. Marriage? I ain't got time for a husband or child. All my life I've looked after myself as if I was my own child.

57. Positive thoughts generate positive feelings and attract positive life experiences. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

58. I believe in the single standard -- for men and women.

59. I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

60. I always say, keep a diary and someday it'll keep you.

61. I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

62. Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.

63. Dress gives one the outward sign from which people in general can, and often do, judge upon the inward state of mind and feelings.

64. I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

65. Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.