Maureen Lipman Quotes

Maureen Lipman delivers sharp, witty takes on humor, sexuality and language that will make you grin and think.

17 quotes

1. The plans of mice, men and Maureen gang aft a cock-up.

2. She taught us Hygiene. And you know what that meant: s-x, pr-cr-ation and p-r--ds.

3. I'm a games player by nature. Don't get me wrong. Nothing that involves movement. Like leaving my chair.

4. Are you sitting comfortably? Then get up. This is no time for sloth.

5. The make-up sat on the surface of my skin like scrambled egg.

6. I have decent hair; it's one of the few things I like about me.

7. I was a Labour luvvie, with Blair. I wasn't really a party member.

8. A tortoise is, I suppose, a Jewish pet. It knows its place. Out on the lawn. It doesn't bark. It doesn't tear the Dralon.

9. Dad was hopeless with money, even though he ran a business. We lived in a small terrace house and I vividly remember going into his shop on a Saturday after synagogue with a friend and he'd give me ten bob. We were comfortably off, but not rich.

10. I've often unwittingly done the wrong thing; most things you mess up in life you do through nerves.

11. My mother, Zelma, was an influence on my career. When I was six or seven I started singing, imitating people like Eartha Kitt, and putting on my own Sunday Night at the London Palladium. My mother encouraged me to perform for her friends.

12. I've never done a drama series, and that's quite a mystery to me.

13. I'm full of ideas and general crackling chemistry and I can read the 'score' of a comedy as though it's a musical score.

14. My whole family was very funny, each in their own way, and you had to be quick to get a word in.

15. I'm not looking at anyone on television and thinking: why do I never get those parts?

16. Though Maggie Smith and Judi Dench have done all right, there's not a lot of drama work out there for older actresses. And you have to understand that every older actress still thinks that she's 34. Look at Joan Collins.

17. Let's teach our daughters, and our sons I suppose: it is possible to say 'no' without rancour, without anger, without emotion.