- I bleed Dodger blue and when I die, I'm going to the big Dodger in the sky. 
- My theory of hitting was just to watch the ball as it came in and hit it. 
- 'I believe managing is like holding a dove in your hand. If you hold it too tightly you kill it, but if you hold it too loosely, you lose it.' Source: The Artful Dodger (Tommy Lasorda)
- 'When we win, I'm so happy I eat a lot. When we lose, I'm so depressed, I eat a lot. When we're rained out, I'm so disappointed I eat a lot.' 
- 'What's my opinion of Kingman's performance!? What the fuck do you think is my opinion of it? I think it was fucking horseshit! Put that in, I don't fucking care. Opinion of his performance!? Jesus Christ, he beat us with three fucking home runs! What the fuck do you mean, 'What is my opinion of his performance?' How could you ask me a question like that, 'What is my opinion of his performance?' Jesus Christ, he hit three home runs! Jesus Christ! I'm fucking pissed off to lose the fucking game. And you ask me my opinion of his performance! Jesus Christ. That's a tough question to ask me, isn't it? 'What is my opinion of his performance?'' -- in response to a question from reporter Paul Olden about slugger Dave Kingman's hitting three home runs during a May 14, 1978 10-7 victory by the Cubs over the Dodgers. The 'censored' version of this diatribe, with the many 'beeps' adding to its humorous effect, can be heard on one of the Baseball's Greatest Hits CD's.
- 'I think that is very very bad, for that man to make an accusation like that, that is terrible. I have never, ever since I've managed, ever told a pitcher to throw at anybody, nor will I ever. And if I ever did, I certainly wouldn't make them throw at a fucking .130 hitter like [Joe] Lefebvre...or fucking [Kurt] Bevacqua who couldn't hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat. And I guaran-fucking-tee you this, that when I pitched and I was gonna pitch against a fucking team that had guys on it like Bevacqua, I'd send a fucking limousine to get the cocksucker to make sure he was in the motherfucking lineup because I'd kick that cocksucker's ass any fucking day of the week. He's a fucking motherfucking bigmouth, I'll tell you that.' -- in response to being accused by San Diego Padres manager Dick Williams of throwing at his batters in a 1984 game. 
- What he did wasn't entertainment. I love the Dodgers, and it wasn't right for him to stomp on the doll with the uniform. There were a lot of kids there, and he's showing them violence. He didn't need to do that.
- The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination.