dorothy parker Quotes
Dorothy Parker QuotesBirth Date: 1893-08-22 (Tuesday, August 22nd, 1893)
Date of Death: 1967-06-07 (Wednesday, June 7th, 1967)
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- Excuse my dust.
- And she had It. It, hell; she had Those.
- Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.
- Well, Aimee Semple McPherson has written a book. And were you to call it a little peach, you would not be so much as scratching its surface. It is the story of her life, and it is called In the Service of the King, which title is perhaps a bit dangerously suggestive of a romantic novel. It may be that this autobiography is set down in sincerity, frankness and simple effort. It may be, too, that the Statue of Liberty is situated in Lake Ontario.
- It is that word 'hummy,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
- That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
- The House Beautiful is, for me, the play lousy.
- [A] lady ... with all the poise of the Sphinx though but little of her mystery.
- Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
- [On the most beautiful words in the English language] The ones I like...are 'cheque' and 'enclosed.'
- And I'll stay away from Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
- I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.
- I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
- One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
- There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
- It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.
- [On being told of Calvin Coolidge's death] How do they know?
- There is no such hour on the present clock as 6:30, New York time. Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.
- This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
- You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
- [On her abortion] It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
- You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
- The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
- That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them.
- And there was that wholesale libel on a Yale prom. If all the girls attending it were laid end to end, Mrs Parker said, she wouldn't be at all surprised.
- Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
- Katharine Hepburn delivered a striking performance that ran the gamut of emotions, from A to B.
- I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
- Dear Mary, We all knew you had it in you!
- Excuse me, I have to go to the ladies room. Actually, I need to make a telephone call, I was just too embarrassed to say.
- I had been fed, in my youth, a lot of old wives' tales about the way men would instantly forsake a beautiful woman to flock around a brilliant one. It is but fair to say that, after getting out in the world, I had never seen this happen.
- I wish I could drink like a lady, I'll have one or two at the most. Three and I'm under the table, Four and I'm under the host.
- I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa.
- She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
- The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of their tires.
- The poor son-of-a-bitch!
- This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.
- Time doth flit; oh shit.
- What fresh hell is this?
- Not Much Fun.
- Tallulah Bankhead: 'Why, it's as easy as ducking for apples.' Dorothy Parker: 'Hah, change one letter in that sentence and you've got the story of my life.'
- Gee Moss, imagine what God could do if he had your money
- When she and Clare Boothe Luce were entering a room, Clare hung back, saying, 'Age before beauty'; Dorothy entered saying 'Pearls before swine.'
- If you want to know what the Lord God thinks of money, just look at those to whom he gives it.
- Upon my honor I saw a Madonna Standing in a niche Over the door Of the prominent whore Of a prominent son of a bitch.
- How odd Of God To choose The Jews
- She is a combination of Little Nell and Lady Macbeth.
- Everything I've ever said will be credited to Dorothy Parker.
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