There is no formula for generating the authentic warmth of love. It cannot be copied. You cannot talk yourself into it or rouse it by straining at the emotions or by dedicating yourself solemnly to the service of mankind. Everyone has love, but it can only come out when he is convinced of the impossibility and the frustration of trying to love himself. This conviction will not come through condemnations, through hating oneself, through calling self love bad names in the universe. It comes only in the awareness that one has no self to love.
About this quote
- What does it mean?
- Authentic love arises spontaneously when one accepts the futility of trying to love oneself, not through self-condemnation.
- In plain terms
- You cannot force love to happen; it comes when you realize you don't need to love yourself to be worthy.
- What can you take from it?
- Love comes naturally when you stop trying to force it or fix yourself.
Where it applies
Putting it to work
Questions to consider
- Can you force yourself to love?
- How does acceptance change emotions?
Another view
The idea that love stems from the impossibility of self-love is counterintuitive and debatable.
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