The ceiling fell? The ink ran dry? A student dared to smile? Of every new disaster I prove myself the master By sending out more circulars, more circulars to file! A missing kid? A kissing kid? A paper on the floor? For every major crisis One remedy suffices: More circulars, more circulars, to put into a drawer! A crowded cafeteria? A substitute's hysteria? A visitor from Syria? A missing Book Receipt? I merely send out circulars To add to other circulars To add to other circulars Numerical and neat!