21 Bill Cosby Quotes

Bill Cosby quotes

1. I can say what I want to. It's freedom of speech, ain't it?. We've got to take the neighborhood back. We've got to go in there. Just forget telling your child to go to the Peace Corps. It's right around the corner. It's standing on the corner. It can't speak English. It doesn't want to speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk. 'Why you ain't where you is go.' I don't know who these people are. And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. Then I heard the father talk. This is all in the house. You used to talk a certain way on the corner and you got into the house and switched to English. Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't land a plane with 'why you ain't:'. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. There is no Bible that has that kind of language. Where did these people get the idea that they're moving ahead on this? Well, they know they're not, they're just hanging out in the same place, five or six generations sitting in the projects when you're just supposed to stay there long enough to get a job and move out.

2. I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.

3. I like puddin pops

4. I am not interested in statistics that tell me things are not as bad as they seem. Things are horrible. I have met people crying about what is happening, but there is no solution yet. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening. I don't care what the statistics say.

5. The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.

6. Y'see, the kids, they listen to the rap music, which gives them the brain damage. With their hippin' and their hoppin', and their bippin', and their boppin'...so they don't know what the jazz is all about! You see, Jazz is like a Jello Pudding pop - no! Actually, it's more like Kodak film - no! Actually, jazz is like the new Coke; it'll be around forever! Heh heh heh...

7. Pokeyman?! Pokeyman with the 'pokey' and the 'man' and the thing where the guy comes out of the thing and then he (mumbles incoherently, flaps ears) oh ah ah ah ah!

1. Women dont want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think in a deeper voice.

2. Gray hair is God's graffiti.

3. Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

4. “gray hair is gods graffiti”

5. You come to my comedy show to be entertained.

6. Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

7. Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.

8. When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.

9. God has a sense of humor though and he must see funny things in us. He must also have some love. We're still here and there are still great things that go on. There are great doctors who discover how to separate twins and how to put together a human being to walk again after it's said he won't. Those are all there as signs.

10. When you become senile, you won't know it.

11. I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do.

12. It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size Jockey shorts for his entire life.

13. Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie.

14. We are the only animals that let our kids come back home.