She knows I'm a deserter from the Scottish Fusiliers, She knows I stole a blind-man's can...that got me seven years! She knows I've been connected with a gang of West-End Pests, And the police have had me twice inside the cage; And she knows I mix with ladies that have got a shady past, But my mother doesn't know I'm on the stage.

There's a cockeyed yellow poodle to the north of Conga Pooch; There's a little hot cross bun that's turning green; There's a double-jointed woman doing tricks …

And you can't part a boy from his father, You can't part a boy from his dad, You can't part a Scotchman from money No matter how many he's had. You can't part …

'Twas the fifteenth anniversary of her twenty-second year, So he smiled at her as sweetly as a hog And asked what present she would like. And jestingly she sai…