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The First [Friend] is the alter ego, the man who first reveals to you that you are not alone in the world by turning out (beyond hope) to share all your most secret delights. There is nothing to be overcome in making him your friend; he and you join like raindrops on a window. But the Second Friend is the man who disagrees with you about everything... Of course he shares your interests; otherwise he would not become your friend at all. But he has approached them all at a different angle. he has read all the right books but has got the wrong thing out of every one... How can he be so nearly right, and yet, invariably, just not right? He is as fascinating (and infuriating) as a woman.

C. S. Lewis#83

FriendshipRelationshipPerspectiveDisagreementIntellect

About this quote

What does it mean?
True friends may disagree with you significantly while sharing interests, offering a different perspective that is both fascinating and frustrating.
In plain terms
A good friend agrees on interests but often disagrees on conclusions.
What can you take from it?
Disagreement can deepen friendship.

Where it applies

  • intellectual debate
  • close relationships
  • team dynamics

Putting it to work

  • engaging debate
  • seeking diverse views
  • active listening

Questions to consider

  • Who challenges your views respectfully?
  • How do you handle disagreement with friends?

Another view

Some friendships rely on agreement to maintain harmony.

More from C. S. Lewis

  1. I fancy that most people who think at all have done a great deal of their thinking in the first fourteen years.

    Permalink to quote #82
  2. The only non-Christians who seemed to me really to know anything were the Romantics; and a good many of them were dangerously tinged with something like religi…

    Permalink to quote #84
  3. For what comes is Judgment: happy are those whom it finds labouring in their vocations, whether they were merely going out to feed the pigs or laying good plan…

    Permalink to quote #81

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