'Were there really this many women in 1985 saying to their husbands, 'Gee, honey, I'd love to have random strangers masturbate to a jpeg image of me deepthroating a titanium dildo, but there's no medium for that. Guess we'll have to watch 'Falcon Crest.' '

'Whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of…

'This SimChuck is one suave bastard.'

'This is the kind of shit that would prompt Tyler Durden to hit somebody in the face.'