'You crazy bugger! You can't do all this! What are you, a Mormon?!'

'Now I'm going to marry my first wife, then I'm going to divorce her. Now, I know what you're going to say, but stick with me, my story gets better! I'm going …

'What have you been reading, The Gospel according to St. Bastard?!'

'Cause the Roman Gods up to that point were crap, you know... Jeff, the god of biscuits... and Simon, the god of hair-dos.