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Remember that you ought to behave in life as you would at a banquet. As something is being passed around it comes to you; stretch out your hand, take a portion of it politely. It passes on; do not detain it. Or it has not come to you yet; do not project your desire to meet it, but wait until it comes in front of you. So act toward children, so toward a wife, so toward office, so toward wealth. (15)

Epictetus#19

StoicismHumilityRelationshipsOpportunityPatience

About this quote

What does it mean?
Treat opportunities and relationships with patience and politeness, taking what comes without forcing it.
In plain terms
Wait for things to come to you and accept them politely.
What can you take from it?
Practice patience and humility in all interactions.

Where it applies

  • waiting for a promotion
  • receiving help
  • meeting new people

Putting it to work

  • pause before demanding
  • accept gifts graciously
  • respond calmly

Questions to consider

  • When have I forced a situation instead of waiting?
  • How can I show humility without appearing passive?

Another view

It may be hard to distinguish when to wait and when to act decisively.

More from Epictetus

  1. With every accident, ask yourself what abilities you have for making a proper use of it. If you see an attractive person, you will find that self-restraint is …

    Permalink to quote #18
  2. When you do anything from a clear judgment that it ought to be done, never shun the being seen to do it, even though the world should make a wrong supposition …

    Permalink to quote #20
  3. Men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things. (5)

    Permalink to quote #17

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