Look round at the marriages which you know. The true marriage - that noble union, by which a man and woman become together the one perfect being - probably does not exist at present upon earth. It is not surprising that husbands and wives seem so little part of one another. It is surprising that there is so much love as there is. For there is no food for it. What does it live upon - what nourishes it? Husbands and wives never seem to have anything to say to one another. What do they talk about? Not about any great religious, social, political questions or feelings. They talk about who shall come to dinner, who is to live in this lodge and who in that, about the improvement of the place, or when they shall go to London. If there are children, they form a common subject of some nourishment. But, even then, the case is oftenest thus, - the husband is to think of how they are to get on in life; the wife of bringing them up at home. But any real communion between husband and wife - any descending into the depths of their being, and drawing out thence what they find and comparing it - do we ever dream of such a thing? Yes, we may dream of it during the season of 'passion,' but we shall not find it afterwards. We even expect it to go off, and lay our account that it will. If the husband has, by chance, gone into the depths of his being, and found there anything unorthodox, he, oftenest, conceals it carefully from his wife, - he is afraid of 'unsettling her opinions.'
About this quote
- What does it mean?
- Nightingale argues most marriages lack depth because couples focus on trivial matters rather than serious intellectual or spiritual topics.
- In plain terms
- Most marriages fail because couples talk about trivial things not deep topics.
- What can you take from it?
- Marriages need deep intellectual or spiritual connection.
Where it applies
Putting it to work
Questions to consider
- What do you talk about with your spouse?
- Is intellectual connection necessary for marriage?
Another view
It sets an unrealistic standard for daily conversation.
More from Florence Nightingale
Moral activity? There is scarcely such a thing possible! Everything is sketchy. The world does nothing but sketch.
Permalink to quote #41 Religious men are and must be heretics now - for we must not pray, except in a 'form' of words, made beforehand - or think of God but with a prearranged idea.
Permalink to quote #43 To have no food for our heads no food for our hearts, no food for our activity, is that nothing? If we have no food for the body, how do we cry out, how all th…
Permalink to quote #40
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