When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo.

The whole strength of England lies in the fact that the enormous majority of the English people are snobs.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

'Homosexuals are not monogamous. They want to destroy the institution of marriage. It will destroy marriage. It will destroy the Earth.'

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

The only trouble is that there's absolutely no passion, no soul and no excitement to be found here...Yet all good music should provoke some sort of emotion, an…