Some of my father's fellow West Pointers once asked him why I turned out so well, his secret in raising me. And he said, 'I never gave him any advice, and he never asked for any.' We agreed on nothing, but we never quarreled once.
About this quote
- What does it mean?
- The father's secret to raising a well‑adjusted child was to give no advice and ask for none, avoiding conflict.
- In plain terms
- He raised his child without advice or expectations, and they never fought.
- What can you take from it?
- Allow autonomy and avoid imposing expectations to reduce conflict.
Where it applies
Putting it to work
Questions to consider
- When is guidance necessary?
- How to balance autonomy and support?
Another view
Some children may need guidance; a lack of advice can be neglectful.
More from Gore Vidal
My general response to boarding school was: anything to get away from that fucking mother of mine. She was a monster.
Permalink to quote #61 Every fool I knew had gone to university. I didn't think it necessary. I'd seen some of the results, you know?
Permalink to quote #63 Everything's wrong on Wikipedia.
Permalink to quote #60
Related quotes
Adults must remember that they look like insane giants to children.
Irving FiskeIrving Fiske quote #1 'The hurt is still there. When my parents were alive it affected them just as much as it is affecting us today.'
Adi Ateca GanilauAdi Ateca Ganilau quote #1 Who knows the thoughts of a child?
Nora PerryNora Perry quote #2