Jimmy Durante Quotes

Jimmy Durante shares playful, musical jokes about happiness, speech and humor, perfect for a smile.

31 quotes

1. Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. I hope so

2. Inka dinka doo, a dinka dee, A dinka doo. Oh, what a tune for crooning. Inka dinka doo, a dinka dee A dinka doo. It's got the whole world spooning.

3. Be nice to people on your way up, because you're going to meet them all on your way down.

4. Don't put no constrictions on da people. Leave 'em ta hell alone.

5. Everybody wants ta get inta da act!

6. Hotch-cha-cha-cha-cha!

7. I don't know where it's going, but I'm sticking with it!

8. I'd go home and cry. I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made jokes about anybody's big ears, crossed eyes, or their stuttering.

9. I hate music, especially when it's played.

10. I'm mortified!

11. It's-a-castastrophe!

12. My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

13. Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

14. Surrounded by assassins!

15. When I got through with him, he was all covered wit' blood- my blood.

16. When it comes to noses, you're a retailer. I'm a wholesaler!

17. UMBRIAGO! (Mentioned as one of Jimmy's Aquaintences, usually introduced in a boisterous manner)

18. What's a depression? The dictionary says a depression is a dent. And what's a dent? Everybody knows a dent is a hole. And what's a hole? You tell me what's a hole! And I'll tell you that a hole is nothin'!

19. Me and my big mouth! I'd get rid of it, only it's such a handy place to keep my teeth.

20. Make someone happy, Make just one someone happy, And you will be happy, too.

21. Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once.

22. All of us have schnozzles... if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us.

23. At four o'clock in the morning most people have been asleep for hours, but at four o'clock in the morning the night-club children of a few years ago were just getting hot. The band jazzed at full blast. The air was so thick you could pick it up in handfulls and through it around like snowballs. The dance-floors were crowded with couples who couldn't do anything but wiggle hips and feet.

24. Now you know that you can't go wrong... If you start each day with a song.

25. Be kind to people on the way up - you'll meet them again on your way down.

26. Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.

27. Don't put no constrictions on da people! Leave 'em the hell alone!

28. What did Napolean do for relaxation? He read a book. What did Lincoln do for relaxation? He read a book. What does Congress do for relaxation? They book a red.

29. Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

30. That's the conditions that prevail!

31. To his orchestra Stop da music, stop da music! You're supposed to follow da music, not chase it all over da place.