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Jon Stewart
Quote #67
I fought the law and the law lost!
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You know, I'm sorry. Normally we have all the writers. We've got a big group of people kicking that soundbite around, but right now it's ju…
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Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.
I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president...' and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'
Like, the Afghanistan war, man did I dig that. I'd like to go again.
I'm 145 pounds of asthma.
On a personal note, I'm a comedian who makes fun of what I believe to be the absurdities of our government. Tomorrow when you go to the pol…
It's like putting Captain Ahab in charge of save the whales.
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