Quote #74
I had rather be a pot-bellied seed cowcumber, flung carelessly on a wood pile to ripen, than tew be an old bachelor.
More from Josh Billings
- Marrying for buty iz a poor spekulashun, for enny man who sees yure wife, has got just about az mutch stock in her as yu have.
- I hope i shall never hav so much reputashun that i shan't feel obliged to be alwus civil.
- Thare iz this mutch kan be sed in favour ov good-breeding, it iz the only thing that kan make a phool endurable.
- When i see a poor, and proud aristokrat, purtiklar about punktillio, he alwus puts me in mind ov a drunken man, trieing tew walk a crack.
- I never hav seen a bigot yet but what had a small and apparently braneless hed--bit i hain't seen all the bigots, yu know.
- Take awl the prophecys that hav cum tew pass, and awl that hav caught on the center, and failed tew cum tew time, and make them up in an av…
- Prejudice iz a hous plant which iz very apt tew wither if yu take it out doors amungst pholks.
- 7 per cent haz no rest, nor no religion, it works nights, and Sundays, and even wet days.