This presidential race is the biggest dick contest in history. 'Your dick is indecisive!' 'Your dick started an unnecessary war!' 'Your dick didn't get injured enough in Vietnam!' 'Your dick didn't even go to Vietnam!' 'Your dick is soft on terrorism!' 'Your dick started terrorism!' 'Your dick blamed Vietnam vets for atrocities that made all vets unable to come home to a hero's welcome.' 'Your dick forged its way out of military service!' Has this kind of dick waggling happened before outside of a pro- wrestling context?

Then there is Dick Cheney, who essentially said that if Kerry is voted in as president, terrorism will hit America again. How is that? Is Cheney going to make …

So when some man says to me, 'Don't you wish you were beautiful?' those are like killing words. That's my death, if I don't pummel it into his soft, not yet co…

We have been threatened by a local conservative group who said they will picket the show unless I am fired and taken off the bill and replaced by someone else.…

The Republicans have a 'me too' candidate running on a 'yes but' platform, advised by a 'has been' staff.

He is one of those wise philanthropists who in a time of famine would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks.

George W. Bush is a man who seems to be the center of his own universe. He seems to have learned little of human nature and even less of human history over his…