Skip to content
quotesby

When you really know somebody you can't hate them Or maybe it's just that you can't really know them until you stop hating them Is that a circular paradox? Dom Cristao says that most truth can only be expressed in circular paradoxes I don't think it has anything to do with truth, it's just cause and effect. We can never sort them out. Science refuses to admit any cause except the first cause - knock down one domino, the one next to it also falls. But when it comes to human beings, the only type of cause that matters is the final cause, the purpose. What a person had in mind. Once you know what people really want, you can't hate them anymore. You can fear them, but you can't hate them, because you can always find the same desires in your own heart.

Orson Scott Card#109

WarHumanityUnderstandingEmpathyHatred

About this quote

What does it mean?
Understanding someone's purpose and desires removes hatred, even if fear remains.
In plain terms
Knowing why people act prevents hatred because their desires mirror yours.
What can you take from it?
Seek understanding to remove hatred.

Where it applies

  • conflict
  • relationships
  • disagreements

Putting it to work

  • seeking understanding
  • listening

Questions to consider

  • Who do you hate and why?
  • What drives them?

Another view

Knowledge does not always stop emotional reactions.

More from Orson Scott Card

  1. I'm not one to despise other people for their sins. I haven't found one yet, that I didn't say to myself, I've done worse than this

    Permalink to quote #108
  2. As long as you keep getting born, it's ok to die sometimes

    Permalink to quote #110
  3. Your dream is a good one. It's the dream of every living creature. The desire that is the very root of life itself: to grow until all the space you can see is …

    Permalink to quote #107

Related quotes

  1. If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

    William WordsworthWilliam Wordsworth quote #202
  2. I rarely saw them as individuals. It was always a huge mass...they were naked, packed together, running, being driven with whips.

    Franz StanglFranz Stangl quote #2
  3. Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and unde…

    Maya AngelouMaya Angelou quote #3