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All those months when bean refused to see Ender, hid from him, it was because he couldn't bear to face the fact that Ender was what bean only wished to be - the kind of person on whom you could put all your hopes, who could carry all your fears, and he would not let you down, would not betray you. I want to be the kind of boy you are, thought bean. But I don't want to go through what you've been through to get there

Orson Scott Card#273

SufferingGrowthSacrificeResilienceAdmirationEnvy

About this quote

What does it mean?
Explores admiration mixed with resentment. The subject wishes to emulate a hero's strength without enduring their hardships.
In plain terms
I want to be as strong as you but skip your pain.
What can you take from it?
Acknowledge that strength often comes from suffering.

Where it applies

  • mentorship
  • peer comparison
  • personal growth

Putting it to work

  • learning from heroes
  • accepting necessary pain
  • envy management

Questions to consider

  • What pain are you avoiding to become strong?
  • Whose path do you wish you could skip?

Another view

Not all strength comes from suffering, and not all suffering builds strength.

More from Orson Scott Card

  1. Ender Wiggin was not larger than life, Bean knew. He was exactly life-sized, and so his larger-than-life burden was too much for him. And yet he was bearing it…

    Permalink to quote #272
  2. Even if that's just bullshit, sir, it's first-rate bullshit. I'll pass it on.

    Permalink to quote #274
  3. Either she was a perfect actress or she was oblivious.

    Permalink to quote #271

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