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There's no question that His Holiness is my root guru, and he's been quite tough with me at times. I've had to explain to people who sometimes have quite a romantic vision of His Holiness that at times he's been cross with me, but it was very skillful. At the moment he did it, I'm not saying it was pleasant for me, but there was no ego attachment from his side. I'm very thankful that he trusts me enough to be the mirror for me and not pull any punches. Mind you, the first meetings were not that way; I think he was aware how fragile I was and was being very careful. Now I think he senses that my seriousness about the teachings has increased and my own strength within the teachings has increased. He can be much tougher on me.

Tenzin Gyatso#100

LeadershipGrowthSpiritualityHumilityFeedbackMentorshipPersonal development

About this quote

What does it mean?
The Dalai Lama can be strict and honest with his students, offering tough guidance without ego, which helps them grow in strength and understanding.
In plain terms
He gives harsh but ego‑free feedback to help followers mature.
What can you take from it?
Accept honest, firm guidance as a path to personal growth.

Where it applies

  • spiritual practice
  • personal coaching
  • education

Putting it to work

  • seeking candid feedback
  • cultivating humility
  • building inner strength

Questions to consider

  • What role does ego play in teaching?
  • How can we balance firmness with compassion?

Another view

Harsh feedback can be painful and may be misinterpreted.

More from Tenzin Gyatso

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  3. The world has shrunk. Increasingly peoples and nations have grown dependent on one another. No one can any longer act entirely in his own interest. It is there…

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