- Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.
- Funny is an attitude.
- Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
- [about his alter-ego] I don't think Geraldine will be back. She was the girl of my dreams, and she carried me longer than my mother did.
- It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV. After all, I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.
- Most drag impersonations are a drag. But women can like Geraldine, men can like Geraldine, everyone can like Geraldine.
- My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?
- The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
- The secret of my success with Geraldine is that she's not a put-down of women.
- Violence is a tool of the ignorant.
- What you see is what you get.
- When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.
- With all the trouble black people have, they try to forget on weekends. You've got to be good to make them laugh.
- You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.
- I reserve my right to be a nigger.