- Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. I hope so
- Inka dinka doo, a dinka dee, A dinka doo. Oh, what a tune for crooning. Inka dinka doo, a dinka dee A dinka doo. It's got the whole world spooning.
- Be nice to people on your way up, because you're going to meet them all on your way down.
- Don't put no constrictions on da people. Leave 'em ta hell alone.
- Everybody wants ta get inta da act!
- I don't know where it's going, but I'm sticking with it!
- I'd go home and cry. I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made jokes about anybody's big ears, crossed eyes, or their stuttering.
- I hate music, especially when it's played.
- I'm mortified!
- My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.
- Surrounded by assassins!
- When I got through with him, he was all covered wit' blood- my blood.
- When it comes to noses, you're a retailer. I'm a wholesaler!
- UMBRIAGO! (Mentioned as one of Jimmy's Aquaintences, usually introduced in a boisterous manner)