I once received a letter from a mother ambitious for her daughter. It read: 'I have a perfectly beautiful daughter. She is seventeen years old, five feet three inches tall, and weighs eight stone. Do you think she might succeed in films?' I replied 'Madam, it would be impossible to say, as you did not state her width.'

It's only a movie, and, after all, we're all grossly overpaid....

If it's a good movie, the sound could go off and the audience would still have a perfectly clear idea of what was going on.

I was an uncommonly unattractive young man.

'Bosie [from the movie Wilde] was the first part I was ever offered, which I suppose is sort of an insult because he's just the nastiest bastard!'

'We're casting for flat-chested tap-dancing freaks.' (from 'Diva')

You should have told him (Jewison) to get Topol's son!