Alfred Hitchcock Quotes on Humor
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It is no accident that an anagram of 'actors' is 'scrota'.
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I have the perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it
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The inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the manmade sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.
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I once received a letter from a mother ambitious for her daughter. It read: 'I have a perfectly beautiful daughter. She is seventeen years old, five feet three inches tall, and weighs eight stone. Do you think she might succeed in films?' I replied 'Madam, it would be impossible to say, as you did not state her width.'
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Then Madam I suggest you have her dry cleaned.
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This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book -- it makes a very poor doorstop.
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To me Psycho was a big comedy. Had to be.
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I'd like to know more about his relationships with women. No, on second thought, I wouldn't. - Ingrid Bergman