If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.

It's been over a year since they graduated, but neither of the Bush twins has been able to find work. Why don't they sign up [for the army]? Do they hate Ameri…

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans. Maybe…

Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy - and Bush was the perfect guy - who they'd want to have over for pot-roast. And George Bush is that …