I'm kicking off my diet with cheeseburger - whatever Jamie Oliver says McDonalds are incredibly nutritious and, as far as I can tell, crammed full of vital nutrients and rigid with goodness.

Will I throw my hat into the ring? It depends on what kind of ring it is and what kind of hat I have in my hand.

Ian [Hislop] keeps telling me to sack him. It puts me in an impossible position.

I think they get a fair squeeze of the sauce bottle.