More from David Sedaris

  1. 'I love things made out of animals,' Sedaris says, holding a knife with a hoof for a handle. 'It's just so funny to think of someone saying…
  2. My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you f…
  3. I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever fi…
  4. 'You kids think you invented sex,' my mother was fond of saying. But hadn't we? With no instruction manual or federally enforced training p…
  5. They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgeable in the fields …
  6. Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied?
  7. After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine …
  8. For the first twenty years of my life I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually I had to give it up. Through…

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