If you're an incredibly famous rich person who does more in one day than I do in a month, does your perception of time's passing go slower or faster than it does for me?

Nobody has ever been happy in a job they obtained by first handing in a resume.

'I have this theory about smart people. If you're smart, you're either the only person in your family who's smart, or everybody in the family is smart. No in-b…

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.

As I came down the Highgate Hill, The Highgate Hill, the Highgate Hill, As I came down the Highgate Hill I met the sun's bravado, And saw below me, fold on fol…

'I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.'

Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheape…