More from Eddie Izzard

  1. On the banners atop some Wikipedia pages: 'Some of this is shit.'
  2. Cough* 'Tiger' *Cough*
  3. Did God invent us, or we invent God?
  4. And thank god they died, 'cause if they had made it through, then humans - Homo Sapiens - wouldn't have made it, and everything would be di…
  5. So Neanderthals, they died out. Two hundred thousand years - they developed for two hundred thousand years, and then went 'Ah, fuck it!'.
  6. And there were two types of Human bipedy type things! There was Neanderthals, and Homo Sapiens. We were like cousins, like kissing cousins,…
  7. 'So, what's my point? And racist people, interestingly are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that?
  8. 'So look I did this yesterday, I spin a twig and it makes smoke and it makes orange and yellow stuff, and its kinda warm. I'm going to be f…

All Eddie Izzard quotes