4 Eddie Izzard Quotes on Animals

Eddie Izzard quotes on animals

5. Squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, 'Raar-ra-ra-yum-yum-yum'. And occasionally they stop and they go [gasps, starts, then pauses and looks around, wide-eyed] As if they're going, 'Did I leave the gas on? [sudden happy realization] No! No, I'm a fucking squirrel!' [munching nuts]

66. Pavlov's Cats: Day One: Rang bell, cat fucked off. (Oh dear) Day Two: Rang bell, cat went and answered door. Day Three: Rang bell, cat said he had eaten earlier. (cheeky bugger) Day Four: Went to ring bell, but cat had stolen batteries. Final Day, Day Five: Went and rang bell with new batteries, but cat put his paw on bell so it only made a thunk noise. Then cat rang his own bell. I ate food.

83. You have no control over your cat! You can't say to your cat, 'Cat, heel! Stay! Wait! Lie down! Roll over!' 'Cause the cat's just gonna be sitting there going, 'Interesting words: Have you finished?' While you're shouting all this to your cat, your dog's next to you, going: (mimes obeying all commands) 'What the hell are you doing? I'm talking to the cat!' 'Oh, I'm sorry!'

102. 'Badgers can be choosers.'