4 Eddie Izzard Quotes on Technology

Eddie Izzard quotes on technology

1. In my first year I was taught about the slide rule. They said, 'The slide rule is important. Without it you can do nothing. The slide rule is the modern weapon of efficiency. With the slide rule you can get from here to the stars. Buy it, use it - your slide rule!' Within one year it was, 'Burn the slide rule. The calculator can add up with none of this fucking sliding the shit around and working out where that bit in the middle goes. Smash it over your head.'[1]

51. 'I've wiped the file? .... I've wiped all the files? .... I've wiped the INTERNET? I don't even have a modem!'

60. I don't have techno-fear, I have techno-JOY! I love technology! I love to get a new machine. Every time I get a new machine, I think, 'This is the one! I won't have to work again; I've got THIS thing!' And if you have techno-joy, you get the instructions, you unwrap it, and you throw the instructions out the window! [mimes doing so] Forget them! Fuck 'em! [mimes turning on a computer] On. [mimes typing] I must know how this works, I've used machines before! [nonsense sound-effect singing] Come on... come on... come on... This bit comes off, I think. [mimes breaking something on the computer] And then you smash it with a hammer! [mimes doing so] I get really fucked off with the machines.

61. People on movies are always so professional with computers. [Mimes using a computer] 'Hacking into Pentagon. Double click on 'yes''. Oh password protected. Ok sixteen billion possible combinations. 'Jeff'. Hey!' 'But how did you know?' 'Well the programmer left a back door so he could come on when ever he wanted and look at all the missiles and try them on his head. And the programmer's name was Jeff Jefferty Jeff, born on the nineteenth of Jeff nineteen jefferty-jeff so i typed in 'Jeff' and hey!'