5 Eddie Izzard Quotes on Movies

Eddie Izzard quotes on movies

14. '[Steve McQueen, in The Great Escape] jumps on a motorbike, took off,and whoom, in 15 minutes he's in the borders of Switzerland. This is from Poland!... And if you don't know the geography, it goes Poland, Czechoslovakia, Holland, Venezuela, Africa, Beyrouth, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and then Switzerland!'

39. We play bad guys in Hollywood movies because of the Revolutionary War : oh yes, will you never forget - you big elephant you. And the French, who were on your side in the Revolutionary War (as you well know...), they play more esoteric characters. They play characters who turn up and go, 'My name is Pierre. I am 53. I have come to have sex with your family.' And the father of the house saying, 'Help yourself! Because of the debt of honour owed to General Lafayette.' [to audience] You know your own history, yeah? [pause] You don't know who he is, do you? What's this, the Spanish-American War, the French-Banana war? What?

40. But we play bad guys in Hollywood movies, like, take, uh, The Empire Strikes Back from the Star Wars trilogy. The Death Star - just full of British actors opening doors and going: 'Oh, I'm : oh : oh.' 'What is it, Lieutenant Sebastian?' 'It's just the rebels, sir. They're here.' 'My God, man! Do they want tea?' 'No, I think they're after something more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag.' 'Damn! That's dashed cunning of them! Ah, Lord Vader!' [hollow breath] 'Uh : hello?' Because he was only impressive because he had that James Earl Jones voice: [deep voice] 'I'm : I am Vader. The force is strong with you.' If he had a much more [high wimpy voice]: ''Ello! Look, I'm Lord Vader, and just pay a-bloody-ttention, all right? Luke, Luke, the force is strong with you.' 'Is it?' 'Yeah.' 'Well, who told you that?' 'Uh, s-some bloke. Yeah, he said the force is really rather strong with you.' 'Well, how strong?' 'Uh, as strong as a small pony.' 'Oh, that's quite strong, that is.' Film would never have fuckin' worked, would it?

59. Armageddon is Australian for 'Armageddon outta here!'

61. People on movies are always so professional with computers. [Mimes using a computer] 'Hacking into Pentagon. Double click on 'yes''. Oh password protected. Ok sixteen billion possible combinations. 'Jeff'. Hey!' 'But how did you know?' 'Well the programmer left a back door so he could come on when ever he wanted and look at all the missiles and try them on his head. And the programmer's name was Jeff Jefferty Jeff, born on the nineteenth of Jeff nineteen jefferty-jeff so i typed in 'Jeff' and hey!'