4 Eddie Izzard Quotes on Performance

Eddie Izzard quotes on performance

88. Or if it's Shakespeare in the West End, then it's moody lighting, three old people saying, 'When shall we three meet again? Tuesday? Okay.'

90. It didn't seem to work, cause no matter how much make up I wore people just kept saying, 'Yes, Sir!, Would you like tea with that Sir?!' 'Yes, I would like tea, why don't you put it on my breasts?' 'Certainly, tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?' 'No, just fuck off'

93. You've heard on aeroplanes, they explode? And that is true, it happened to me ah, over thirty thousand feet. (mimes as if he's just having a conversation on a plane, and then his left breast explodes) 'BrrpphhZZZ' (Mimes wiping exploded stuff off of his chest and then mimes reaching up and pushing the stewardess button overhead) 'Sorry about this... Buung!' (Mimes having a sip of drink while waiting for service) 'Yes, my left breast has... exploded. Have you got a pillow? Oh, and some more nibblie, nibblies?' But then you've got one L cup boob and a D cup boob, and you get a lot of looks! I already get a lot of looks. So by the end it, I've got the fork: (Mimes stabbing himself in the right breast, then reaching up and pushing the overhead service call button again.) 'Buung!' 'Another pillow' And you go off with the biggest tits in Christendom... as the crusaders used to say!

94. Where the fuck was I? What was I talking about? (Leans ear toward audience) Breasts, yes I know generally, but how far down the breast line was I? Oh yes oh yes, exploding in aeroplanes. True, true, true. Except for the lies.