It didn't seem to work, cause no matter how much make up I wore people just kept saying, 'Yes, Sir!, Would you like tea with that Sir?!' 'Yes, I would like tea, why don't you put it on my breasts?' 'Certainly, tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?' 'No, just fuck off'

So... Uh... I'd better explain the tits. Umm...didn't have those at school. Wanted to, but not in the school curriculum...even though I asked.

So, I thought its not working, so I threw my breasts out of the window of my Lamborghini (points to his head) In my mind...No, I threw the breasts out of the w…

Or if it's Shakespeare in the West End, then it's moody lighting, three old people saying, 'When shall we three meet again? Tuesday? Okay.'

Don't clap, I'm not a fucking jazz band.

[When asked what he would do if he were a woman for a day] Could I have sex with myself? Could there still be me and then a girl me?

My best friend was at the grocery store standing behind these two guys in line, and one of the guys told the other that I was a man. He said, 'If you look clos…